Luna Orignaux

Tattoo Poll Reopened

2010-09-03T11:04:00.006-06:00

I reopened the poll Do You Think Tattoos are Sexy? So, go vote! (see upper right hand corner of this page)

Movie: Suburbia 1983

2010-09-02T10:59:00.000-06:00

Suburbia is one of my favorite movies ever. I can’t remember how I first heard of it or where I first saw it, only that once I discovered it I watched it over and over and over. It was one of my “regular” movies when I was in high school.

Then, I moved to places where I couldn’t find it to rent anymore. This was long before you could rent movies online. I had to go for years without seeing it, and no one I met had seen it or even heard of it. When I eventually saw the title in my local video store again I was ecstatic, and then dreadfully disappointed to discover that it was not the same movie, not even a remake.

After about 12 years or so of not getting to see it, I was finally able to rent it by mail. I was thrilled! I couldn’t wait to see it again and I couldn’t shut up about it. When it arrived, no one that watched it with me got it. They just looked at me like I was weird for liking it. That was annoying and honestly made me wonder, “Why do I spend my time with these people?” I wasn’t annoyed that they thought I was weird. I’m used to that. I was annoyed that I was surrounded by people I had little to nothing in common with. But that’s another story for another time.

Shortly after my husband and I started dating I found out that it was one of his favorite movies too. I knew that was a very good sign. Well, we finally got our hands on our own copy about a month ago.

Highlights of the movie include live performances by D.I., the Vandals, and T.S.O.L. Most of the actors are unknowns, but there are a few exceptions you might recognize, including Flea, from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Wade Walston of the U.S. Bombs. I won’t go into the detail of what the movie is about. If you must know more you can read a very long, spoiler filled description here, or see the IMDB page about it.

I recommend just watching it right now instead! If you enjoy it, get a history lesson on punk bands by watching The Decline of Western Civilization.

Next on our movie wish list? Rock ‘n’ Roll High School staring the Ramones.

Tattoos

2010-08-19T13:52:00.000-06:00

I read an article today called The top 10 most tattooed cities in America. Well, OK, I didn’t really read it; I skimmed through it just to see what cities they listed. Then I started reading the comments and that was probably a mistake. There were something like 11 comments when I first read them. By the time I finished writing and posting my comment, it was more like 100.

So, before I posted mine all I had seen were negative comments. After I posted and started reading through more, it had turned around and there were more positive comments than negative.

Personally, I love tattoos. I think they are sexy, and just plain pleasant to the eye. There are some really beautiful works of art out there, and I love that, but those aren’t the only ones that grab me.

There is something else about the look of tattoos that I love, and I hadn’t realized it until recently. It doesn’t matter if it is any good or if it is even close enough for me to make it out. I still love the way they look on the body. Or, maybe I should say I love the way bodies look with tattoos on them.

One thing that really annoyed me the almost apologetic way that some people said they only had small, “tasteful” tattoos, so that was OK, often implying that large tattoos or those with certain subject matter were not OK. Tasteful is subjective.

Personally, I don’t care if they are tasteful or not. I just love tattoos. I love looking at them. I love having them. I love getting them. I am picky about the ones I get on myself. I don’t see myself ever walking into a tattoo shop and picking out a piece of flash. That’s just not my style. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t like the artwork or that I don’t like that kind of tattoo on someone else.

My husband has tattoos. It was one of the first things I noticed about him. Actually, it was the very first thing I noticed. The first thing he said to me was a question about one of my tattoos.

So what about you? Do you think tattoos are sexy?

Pleasurists #90

2010-08-13T15:11:00.000-06:00

Abandoned Nude by tiago13pereira
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #89? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #91? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday August 15th at 11:59pm PDT.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Birthday Celebration Contest Deadline: August 14th.
Sexy Summer Contest Deadline: August 14th.
Fancy Me Sampler Kit Giveaway Deadline: August 15th.
Fancy Me Giveaway Deadline: August 15th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
It’s My Blog, I’ll Give Away Free Shit if I Want To! Deadline: August 17th.
100th Post Giveaway Deadline: August 31st @ 11:59pm Central.
Add Some Sizzle to Your Summer Win an Ophoria Combo Pleasure Pack Deadline: August 31st.
$25 Anyone? Deadline: 50 followers/subscribers.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #18
On to the reviews…
Vibrators

Lustre by Kynky Kytty
We-Vibe II by Jessie Beth
Ophoria Bliss No. 2 by Red Vinyl Kitty
Sinclair Institute Select Gia by Jessie Beth
Doc Johnson Tickle & Tease Me by Jessie Beth
JimmyJane Form 2 by Pretty Power Tools
Platinum Rabbit by Pretty Power Tools
LELO Siri by Joan Price
Rabbit Pearl Deluxe by buzzvibe
Finger Tingles by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
JimmyJane Little Platinum by Pretty Power Tools
OhMiBod ClubVibe by Pretty Power Tools
OhMiBod ClubVibe by Cinnamon
Sex-A-Peel by Pretty Power Tools
Sex-A-Peel by Femenina Deliciosa
Lil’ Tease Dotty by Pretty Power Tools
Evolved Short & Sweet Sugar by Pretty Power Tools
LELO Siri by Pretty Power Tools
Lia by True Pleasures
Lia by Isabel0329
BeBe by Screaming Violet
B3 Onye by Jonsbabydoll
Flirty G by Sammi
Ophoria Bliss No. 3 by Elodie
Le Reve by Kit O’Connell
Love Lips by Lucy Lemonade

Dildos

Tantus Acute by Jessie Beth
Vixen Creations Johnny by True Pleasures
Njoy Fun Wand by Pretty Power Tools
Njoy Fun Wand by buzzvibe
Lovemoiselle Aveline by Ginger Leigh
LELO Ella by Marilyn
Platinum Super 7″ by Pretty Power Tools
Mr. Bendy by Dr. Ruthie

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Jackmaster by Mistress Kay
Pirates Pleasure Ring by Missy

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Storage

Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches, the Notebook, and Writing

2010-08-12T10:43:00.002-06:00

I just finished re-reading Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches trilogy. I thoroughly enjoyed it again. I am still in the mood for that sort of book and have no idea what I could read that would satisfy the craving.

I think I enjoyed the first book, The Witching Hour, the most. I enjoyed the historical bits very much.

The sex scenes were not to my taste, but it was worth getting through them to enjoy the rest of the book. That is a personally thing. It has nothing to do with the quality of the writing. What she describes as sexy in a man just grosses me out.

I think I am going to try Blackwood Farm next. I had never heard of it until I was looking around online yesterday trying to figure out what to try next. It is supposed to include characters from the Mayfair Witches and from the Vampire Chronicles. Wish me luck!

I’ll have to order it and wait for it to come, so in the meantime I am reading The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. It’s not the kind of book I normally read. I never would have picked it up if I hadn’t seen the movie. I loved the movie. A friend gave me the book. I decided to try it last night. I made it about halfway through the book in one sitting. So far, I like the movie better. That’s unusual for me.

It has inspired me to get serious about a writing project I have been meaning to work on for a long time, though. I have such a wonderful life now, and I really want to write about how I got here, how I met my husband, and how we came to be so happy together.

Prop 8, Gay Marriage: Why Do You Care?

2010-08-11T06:13:00.001-06:00

No, I’m not asking supporters of gay marriage why they care. My question is for those who are against it.

I have been told that it is naïve to ask this question, but I can’t help coming back to it. Why would you want to control other people’s right to marry? How can that possibly matter? And, how do you justify who you single out for exclusion from the legal aspect of marriage?

Right now as long as the couple consists of one male and one female, both human and both of legal age (which varies), any couple can become legally married. I can think of some restrictions we don’t have that would make sense to me:

You have to love each other
You have to truly intend to stay together for the rest of your lives

I don’t know, something as simple as a genuine intent to honor whatever vows you take? That is something I can understand.

But we don’t have those restrictions. We have divorce. We have people getting married to secure green cards. And then we have the “trial marriage.”

I don’t even know how it would be possible to put that sort of thing into law. I don’t think divorce should be outlawed, because I believe too strongly in freedom and personal choice. But I don’t understand how legalizing gay marriage can be said to violate the “sanctity of marriage” while divorce is perfectly legal.

To get even weirder, I know people who are absolutely not homophobic but are against gay marriage. And, I know people who are homophobes, but still think it’s totally stupid, pointless, and makes no sense to “outlaw” gay marriage.

And that’s another thing. What’s with the term “legalize”? When I hear it put that way I think of it like legalizing pot. I mean, when I first heard it put that way I was totally freaked out because I actually thought that meant that gay marriage was a crime. That was back before I understood the difference between legally recognized marriage and marriage that people enter into of their own accord with or without the government’s stamp of approval. But still, when I hear that term my mind wanders into the whole thing of decriminalizing first, and then….

Condoms in Fiction?

2010-08-10T11:57:00.002-06:00

I came across a blog post in my reading the other day that mentioned condoms in porn. Now I can’t remember where I found it, but it reminded me of a subject that sort of nags at me whenever I start thinking about it – condoms in fiction.

Some time back, a couple of years ago I think, I submitted a story for critique on ERWA’s list. I got lots of helpful comments which helped me improve on the story and answered some of my questions about readability. I was completely shocked that I also got at least one response criticized the fact that the sexual encounter between two presumed strangers did not include condom use. Condom use in this particular story never would have occurred to me.

And this is how I discovered that some readers, and writers of course, actually prefer it when fictional characters use a condom. Or, maybe I should say, they find it disturbing when they do not.

Personally, I don’t want to read about that. I see no reason to mar a perfectly good fantasy by bringing in a condom. It’s fiction, and one of the wonderful things about fiction is escaping some of the unpleasant aspects of real life.

I would feel the same way about a story that made us stop and go to the bathroom with the characters every few paragraphs. Yes, that would be far more realistic, but do you really want that to be part of your reading experience?

There are exceptions, of course. Sometimes condom use has a real place in the story in that it changes something. Like in the movie “Must Love Dogs” where they are about to have sex, but stop and wind up driving all over town in the middle of the night looking for a condom.

I can understand that some readers get freaked out and are pulled out of the story when the condom is left out, but I would think of that as a personal quirk.

If the situation in my story had happened in real life, I would say condom use was a must. Then again, if it were a true story, most of what this guy did would be considered very risky. Allowing a strange woman, in a strange town to lure him out the back door of a bar and down the alley without any clue as to why or what was going on was probably a lot more dangerous than failing to use a condom. But again, that’s the beauty of fiction.

If I were reading a story like that and THEN he suddenly got all safety-conscious and did use a condom, it would seem very out of place and jar me right out of the story.

So, what do you think? Do you need condoms in your erotic fiction?

Reading, Relaxing, and Recommending

2010-08-04T14:27:00.001-06:00

I just added another blog to my blog list. The post that got my attention is titled “That’s discrimination! -or- Two words I’m sick of hearing.” You must go read it. The very first sentence spoke to me.

“Don’t you ever get bored of being offended?”

By the end of the first paragraph I felt right at home. The blog is called Insatiable Desire.

I’ve also added the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) blog to my blog list. I love NCSF. I highly recommend subscribing to their media updates!

Today I am perusing the web, just kicking back and soaking up cool stuff I enjoy reading, bookmarking new sites I find and want to keep up with, and stuff like that. No intensive research, no shopping, no stress. Just reading, writing, and enjoying the flow of things. Yes, there is a purpose to it, there are several, but I’m not letting it turn into stress or a chore.

I’m also trying to decide what I really want to write about next. I have a short list of topics I was planning to blog about last week. I did not make it through the list and now I’m wondering if it still really grabs me.

Guess I better be off for now. The weather is telling me it is almost time to shut down for the day, and I still have lots of browsing to do.

FCC Indecency Rule Rejected

2010-07-27T15:42:00.010-06:00

I should have posted about this a lot sooner.

On July 13, 2010, the U.S. Second Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the FCC’s ban on broadcast indecency. Here is part of what the three-judge panel said in its ruling:

By prohibiting all 'patently offensive' references to sex, sexual organs, and excretion without giving adequate guidance as to what 'patently offensive' means, the FCC effectively chills speech, because broadcasters have no way of knowing what the FCC will find offensive.

The Washington Post has posted the entire ruling in pdf form.

For those who don’t recognize the rule right off the bat, we’re talking about the one that lets them impose a huge fine if someone happens to get excited and say “fuck” on a live TV program before 10:00 at night.

Rejection of this rule is great news and hopefully a step in the right direction.

You should really go check out the FCC’s FAQ. You should be aware that it is NOT up-to-date. The maximum amount for the fine was increased by ten-fold in 2006 from $32,500 per utterance to $350,000 per utterance.

This thing was a cash cow for the FCC. Back in 2004, the FCC made $8 million in fines. That was when the fine was only 10% of what it ad become when the rule was struck down. So, there were big profits in fucking people out of their Constitutional right to free speech.

*************************************************************************************

Pleasurists #87

2010-07-23T11:13:00.002-06:00

The Old Passion by ~JogiART

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #86? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #88? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday July 18th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Contest: Win a Tenga Egg! Deadline: July 22nd.

TabuToys.com “Economic Stimulus” Contest Deadline: July 23rd.

Kinky Bondage Gear Giveaway! Deadline: July 29th.

Fairy Pocket Mini Giveaway Deadline: August 1st.

Ask Amanda Anything! Deadline: August 1st.

Grab Yourself a Party Favor! Deadline: August 2nd @ 11am Central.

Birthday Celebration Contest Deadline: August 14th.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #17

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Ophoria Pleasure Pack by Tonia

Ophoria Beyond No. 1 by Marilyn

Love Lips by Red Vinyl Kitty

Hitachi Magic Wand by Outspoken Clitic

Vibrating Dilator Set by Mystress Lady Evyl

Mini-Max Makeup Brush by buzzvibe

Fairy Pocket Mini by Femenina Deliciosa

Twisted Hearts Lust by Elodie

Vibratex Mystic Wand by Toys in Love

Dildos

Tentacle by True Pleasures

Pixie Curve by Red Vinyl Kitty

Rose G-Spotter by Isabel0329

Anal Toys

Fun Factory Flexi Felix by Mistress Kay

Fun Factory Flexi Felix by Isabel0329

LELO Bob by Wilhelmina Wang

Tantus Big Flirt by Femenina Deliciosa

Tantus Flirt by Missy

Toys for Cocks

Tantus Cock Sling by Mistress Kay

Wave Rider by Miami Pepper

Smart Easy’s Vol 2 by True Pleasures

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

Jimmyjane Beyond Euphoric Lotion by True Pleasures

Jimmyjane Beyond Euphoric Lotion by Femenina Deliciosa

Jimmyjane Beyond Euphoric Lotion by Isabel0329

System JO Wild Clitoral Gel by Missy

Astroglide Glycerin and Paraben Free by

buzzvibe

Bikini Kitty Shaver by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Gun Oil by Missy

BDSM/Fetish

Pink & Black Double Strand Nipple Clamps by Jessie Beth

Incoqnito Leather Handcuffs by DominaDoll

LELO Intima by Dr. Ruthie

Adult DVDs & Porn

iSpankMyself.com by Garnet Joyce

Tight Places – A Drop of Color by J.D. Bauchery

Wired Pussy #2 Featuring Sydnee Capri by FrzKey

Crushing On Kleio by The Porn Librarian

Secrets by J.D. Bauchery

Straight Guys for Gay Eyes – Dexter by FrzKey

Heads Up – The Official Guide to Fellatio by Femenina Deliciosa

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Fellatio by The Baltese Falcon

Storage

For Your Nymphomation 10 Incher by Toys in Love

Miscellaneous

Sheer Glyde Dams by Bailey

Clone-A-Pussy Kit by Joanna Cake

Mia Rose Cardboard Cut-Out by Mistress Kay

StreemMaster Mini Syringe by ScottA

Girl’s Night In Kit by Isabel0329

Vixen Creations Off With Your Head by Britni TheVadgeWig

PStyle by Dr. Ruthie

My Sex Toy Shop Online

2010-07-14T11:20:00.003-06:00

My posts have been few and far between for so long. I am working on a new direction for my writing, for this blog, for my professional life in general.

First, I would like to invite you to check out my sex toy shop. I’ll be continuing to make changes there, and the web address will probably even change in the near future, but I didn’t want to wait any longer to extend the invitation.

I also want to direct you to my VOD site, and livecams. No, you won’t actually find me performing there. At least, not yet.

Pleasurists #53

2009-11-16T09:27:00.001-07:00

Best Parts by *KodoqKatie on deviantART

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days.

Did you miss Pleasurists #52? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #54? Submit it here before Sunday November 15th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Happy Blogiversary to Me Contest! Deadline: November 18th.

Gender Carnival! Deadline: November 21st @ midnight Eastern.

The S Spot Sexy Short Story Contest! Deadline: November 30th.

Luxury Sex Toy Scavenger Hunt Deadline: December 12th @ midnight Pacific.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

Eroscillator by Epiphora

True to its name, the Eroscillator oscillates rather than producing regular up and down vibrations. That may not sound amazing to you, and I understand. I used to wonder what oscillating even meant. Was the attachment going to spin in circles crazily? Was it going to assault my clit? How could oscillations feel better than vibrations? Oh, it’s hilarious to think about now…

Note: After hearing about this review for weeks and effectively building up the anticipation Epiphora has finally produced what is a truly epic review (which may actually be a love letter). Some reviews just have to be epic, the toy demands it, and true to form Epiphora delivers an amusing, honest, and well written review that fits the toy perfectly, and makes me (and possibly you too) desperately wish to own one. I consider it necessary reading.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Snow Bunny by Joan Price

Fairy Mini Mini by Undressed Reviews

Better than Chocolate by Domina Doll

LELO Elise by Domina Doll

Little Honey by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

One Touch Wonder Egg by True Pleasures

Lovemoiselle Cecile by Melen’s Rayne

Fun Factory Heartbreaker by Saraid

Perfect Touch Satisfy Her by Sommer Marsden

Vibratex Duet by SaraBee

Jenna’s Velvet Jewels by Sammi

Spellbound G by Sammi

Dildos

Lovemoiselle Aveline by Eden Cafe

Hera by Carrie Ann

Tiger by Hey Epiphora

LELO Ella by Ashley

Anal Toys

Aluminum Mini by Sammi

Tantus Ryder by SaraBee

Toys for Cocks

CyberSkin Saturn Cockring by Red

Tenga Squeeze Play 8.0 by Tales from the Porn Store

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

System Jo by Kara Sutra

Better Sex Essentials Liquid Lubricant by Melen’s Rayne

[G] Stimulation Gel by Oceanus Naturals by Sexorcism

BDSM/Fetish

Electrosex Deluxe Power Box by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Liberator Silk Binding Sash by Essin’ Em

Clover Clamps by Laurel

Leatherbeaten Dragon Silk Ankle Cuffs by Laurel

Ball Gag by Carnivalesq

Adult Books/Games

Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Role Playing Game by Kara Sutra

Best Women’s Erotica 2010 by Joan Price

Adult Movies/Porn

The Birthday Party by Epiphora

Seven Minutes in Heaven by Sinclair Sexsmith

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex by Domina Doll

Glamazons by J.D. Bauchery

The Fairy Tale by FrzKey

Ram Tough by The Porn Librarian

Crash Pad Series – Episode 17: Dylan’s Solo by J.D. Bauchery

Dark Future Vol. 1 by FrzKey

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex by Undressed Reviews

Seven Minutes in Heaven by Carnivalesq

Rough Sex by Lady Evyl

Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape by Tales from the Porn Store

Debbie Does Dallas by Tales from the Porn Store

Sex Furniture

Liberator Whirl XT by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Storage

Adult Toybox by Undressed Reviews

Review: 52 Sex Positions

2009-11-01T12:12:00.003-07:00

Ever since I was a kid I have kind of had a thing for these novelty items. I think the board games fascinated me the most. I pictured a very civil gathering of adults who barely know each other sitting around playing these games with such seriousness. You know, like you play Monopoly, taking their turns, doing whatever they were instructed to do.

For some reason, though, when I got older I didn’t really jump on the opportunity to try them out. I’ve checked out a couple of the games, but actually trying to play them seemed too forced. There was no room for flow and spontaneity. I couldn’t see it being the ice-breaker I had imagined either. I have never really needed an ice-breaker anyway.

When I saw the 52 Sex Positions Flash Cards on the SexToy.com website, I expected them to be more of a conversation piece than anything. I had no idea they would have such detailed information. Each card has instructions for him and for her explaining how to get into the position, and instruction for the motion to use, plus a hint and a rating. The instructions actually make sense!

Some of the positions look pretty improbable, but that won’t stop me from giving them a try. Most of them look pretty doable.

The ratings are amusing, but not exactly ratings. For instance, the rating for Counter Top Teaser is “Perfect for a quick one in the kitchen.” Some of the hints are really useful, such as this one for Rhythmic Booty, “She can alternate her position between a straddle and a squat. This will also open up varying speed option too.” Some are just kind of random, for instance, “Prolonging pleasure will intensify your orgasm!”

It is amazing that they fit so much on each card. Some of the letters are pretty tiny, but the main instructions are in larger print. The drawings give you a good idea of how the position goes together. They are not cluttered with unnecessary details.

One thing I did find odd was the complete absence of oral sex. Some, probably most, of the positions could work for anal, but the instructions are clearly not intended that way.

I like the idea of the cards much better than the games. They give you more flexibility. You could always turn it into some kind of game, if you’re into that. I think it’s more fun to pick and choose or take turns choosing.

Yes, these cards could make a good conversation piece, but they are remarkably useful. If you have been thinking of buying a book on sex positions, you might consider trying these cards instead.

Sex toys provided by SexToy.com. Check out our excellent selection of bondage and bdsm products online.

Love, Lust, and Like

2009-10-06T14:51:00.000-06:00

When I was in college I was involved in a long-term relationship that had started in high school. When we first started seeing each other I was 16 and he was 15. Eventually we moved in together. Sometime after moving in together things started going downhill. It was that time in life when I was ready to move forward, and he was stagnating. The apartment we lived in was paid for by his dad, and he had no desire to get a job or do anything with himself. I was the opposite. I wanted the fuck out of Texas and wanted to do great things as quickly as possible, even if “great” meant partying like no one else had ever done.

I started losing interest in him sexually and as a person. The friendship had bottomed out. All the hopes and dreams we had talked about were going down the tubes with his apathy. To top it off he got jealous and hurt if I spent a few hours visiting with friends without him. Overall, I felt suffocated and like I was getting sucked down into a miserable go-nowhere life.

I was confused and felt guilty. He was my first love and we had been so in love. I had promised to love him forever and never leave him (I refused to promise fidelity because I was so in love and thought that was unrealistic). He had promised the same. I felt like there was something so wrong and evil and unacceptable about my feelings for him changing, even though I felt like he was no longer the person I had fallen in love with.

I had a professor whose opinion I really respected and who I trusted to be straightforward and honest with me. I spoke to him about my situation and he didn’t pretend to be able to tell me what I should do. He just had one piece of wisdom to offer that he had picked up in life. He said that in order for a relationship to work you must have love, lust, and like. It takes all three. If any one of those is missing then it’s not healthy and it’s time to move on. It doesn’t mean you don’t care for each other or that you’re bad people, but happiness is important and you must have all of those to be happy together.

Granted, he knew he was talking to an 18-year-old. Maybe after ten or 20 years together, some waning of lust here and there is acceptable when you have a really strong bond in other ways.

When I received this advice, it made sense. It sounded good and I believed it. But, looking back I can see that I failed to apply it to my life. And I can see that whenever one part of that equation fell away, the relationship went downhill fast.

Movies – Love Stories?

2009-10-04T14:49:00.001-06:00

When it comes to movies, there are very few love stories that really do it for me. Sid and Nancy and Natural Born Killers are the ones that come to mind.

But then the other day, I was sitting here with my boyfriend watching Bad Girls and he says “It’s a love story.” Hmm. Well, yeah, I guess. I mean it does contain a couple of love stories, but I never thought of it that way. He says he doesn’t like love stories. So, I say, “Sid and Nancy is a love story.” That’s his favorite movie. And then I remembered, “And Natural Born Killers!” He says, “Yeah, but that’s different. It’s more like Bonnie and Clyde.”

This subject has come up a few times now when we’re watching something. I got to thinking about it, trying to think of something that isn’t a love story in some way, and realized that most movies are or contain a love story.

Long Summer (part 2)

2009-10-02T14:48:00.000-06:00

So now you’re probably thinking, “Good for you, but get to the point. How’s the sex?” The short answer – absolutely wonderful!

It’s a little hard for me to believe what is happening with that. It started with his first major move being something that happens to be my favorite thing and something I haven’t been able to indulge in with many men. But it doesn’t end there by any means. He does things that I never really cared for before, in a way that drives me completely crazy. He does all the things that I really love. And the things I love to do to him happen to be things that really get him going. And if I need to stop for some reason, it’s not a problem. I never feel pressured or get a guilt trip.

He is always doing something that just drives me wild, and he is not afraid to do it in public. We’ll be sitting at the bar and he’ll just start sucking on my wrist or kissing my belly. He tells me he loves me about a hundred times a day no matter who is around to hear it. All of that is great when it’s just the two of us, but I think we’ve all been with someone that insists on keeping it low-key or tries to act like there’s nothing going on at all in public and it really takes the wind out of it. You have to wonder why they want to hide it. So, yeah, the fact that he’s the same everywhere we go, I think that turns me on as much as or more than what he’s actually doing.

It’s better than just sex and the sex is so enhanced by all the other stuff. We have fun together. We enjoy the same music and movies and know all this stuff that no one we ever get to meet knows anything about. That’s how it all got started and even if sex just wasn’t part of the picture, we’d still be hanging out.

Long Summer (part 1)

2009-09-30T14:47:00.001-06:00

This summer seemed long. We got off easy on the heat. Still too hot for me, but not miserably so. It was definitely a summer of change. That is one reason for my long silence. Long-term relationship came to an abrupt end in mid-August. From there my life has really opened up. I knew I was unhappy, but I was shocked at how much life improved and how quickly. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my heart and my life.

For the first few weeks I was sort of giddy and in awe of all the little things that were just happy and easy. I had no idea how much I had shut down and how restricted my life had become. I was weighing every little thing I did. Then suddenly at every turn I could just do whatever with no worries. I started seeing friends again. Laughing and having fun without having to worry about the fight it would cause. Coming and going as I pleased. Not having to think about what I was wearing (or not wearing) around the house and when I went out. Finally, I could relax.

Now, well, OK I’m still giddy. It just keeps getting better.

Being single in a very small town with no way to get out of town and meet people if I wanted to, that can a little frightening. But I believe in silly things like fate. Besides the fact that I would have gone insane a long time ago if I didn’t, my life experience backs it up. So, I just had to have faith that something remarkable would happen and I would meet someone really incredible that I had never met before, here in this very small place where everyone has met everyone.

I had faith, but some part of me knew that the odds were stacked against me, so when it happened it caught me by surprise. I knew it had to happen because I willed it to be so and that’s how life works, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen that night, that soon. Now I’m living it every day and it still sneaks up on me sometimes...

Catching Up

2009-06-17T23:23:00.002-06:00

I have been MIA for way too long. I won’t bore you with the details. What matters is that I am back.

Weather. So, to get started, it’s “summer” and I have been blessed so far with mild and beautiful weather. In case I have failed to mention it before, I hate hot and sunny weather.

Reading. Yes, that’s one of my favorite pastimes. Right now I am reading Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series. I’m in the middle of book #6, and going strong. I started off by buying the books, but now I’m getting them through interlibrary loan. Anyone can do it. Don’t let money stand in the way of your reading. If you have the money, for God’s sake, spent it supporting your favorite authors!

Scary stuff. I have always held what I thought to be an irrational fear of glass dildos. It just seems counterintuitive to me to use glass items “that way”. But I know from my experience cooking that all glass is not equal. Either way I must share this warning with you.

Weirdness (or more scary stuff)
Apparently, witch hunts are alive and well. I am not at liberty to reveal my sources on this, but as hard as it is for me to wrap my head around, even my so-called fellow writers are still chomping at the bit to judge and alienate those of us who enjoy writing and reading about sex. I know, it’s no news flash, but damn! Get over it already!

Pleasurists #24

2009-04-14T18:13:00.001-06:00

from www.positivevoid.co.uk found via Art or Porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #23? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #25? Submit it here before Sunday April 19th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Gforce Wand Giveaway Deadline: April 14 11:59 pm EST.

CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009.

My First Sex Toy Contest! Deadline: 11:59 PM CST May 1st.

Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.

Spring Contest Time! Deadline: TBD?

Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree! Deadline: Friday, June 5, 2009

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Smart Balls by Eliot Bodem

[P]lacing them as is shown in the little instruction booklet left me feeling that they were always in danger of falling out. But now that I think about it, I suppose that’s the point; you instinctively clench around the balls and that works the PC muscle.

Editor’s Note: I try to pick posts which are not only well-written but also which are somehow unique or unusual and make me desire to own the toy being reviewed. While I’ve seen many reviews of the Fun Factory Smart Balls I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of discovery in this review and it made me want to try them.

Vibrators

LELO Liv by Mina Meow

Pocket Rocket Jr. by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Hot Love by Sxychikadee

Tantus Buzz 1 by Marla Singer

Vibrating Bullet by Beautiful Dreamer

The Cone by Ginger Leigh

Sasi by Mina Meow

Vibrating Rabbit by Beautiful Dreamer

Chill Pill by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

SinFive Vuali by Marla Singer

Siena Symphony by Sleeping Dreamer

LELO Liv by Holden

Orchid G by Adriana

Passion Wave Stimulator by The Countess

Desire from Evolved by CarrieAnn

Fun Factory Delight by Beautiful Dreamer

Perfect Touch Mega Bullet by Dangerous Lilly

Vibrating Mini-Bullet by Adriana

Dildos

Fun Factory Share by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

LELO Olga by Beautiful Dreamer

Share by Domina Doll

Silky by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Dai Do #3 by Bad Bad Girl

Helix Rocket by Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Blue Ripple with LED by Ang

Fun Factory Curve by Catalina Loves

Energie by Bad Bad Girl

Lube & etc.

Sliquid Organics Natural Gel by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Love Balm by CarrieAnn

ID Moments by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

Thigh and Wrist Harness by Thursday’s Child

Under the Bed Restraints by Backseat Boohoo

Bondage Tape by Domina Doll

Nipple Tit Clamps with Bell by Ang

Adult Books

Tantra for Erotic Empowerment by Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

Jennifer Welles Big and Natural by J.D. Bauchery

Seka Gets What She Wants by The Porn Librarian

Karakuri Ninja Girl by FrzKey

Barcelona Sex Project by Ansley Agnello

New Romantix by Beautiful Dreamer

Flawless by J.D. Bauchery

Muscle and Cum by The Porn Librarian

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Bondage Sex by Backseat Boohoo

Storage

Lockable Vibrator Case - Large by Jezebelle

FYN Toybox by Essin’ Em

Sugar Sak XL by Adriana

Miscellaneous

Sex Clean Toy Cleaner by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Packing Strap by Erin Leone

G-Plus Massager Attachment by Shay

Thigh Harness by Thursday’s Child

Durex Avanti Condoms by Shasta Gibson

Soft Pack by Carnivalesq

Love Seat (for the Hitachi) by Bad Bad Girl

Review: Ring Collar

2009-04-13T21:47:00.003-06:00

This collar has its pros and cons. It looks great and the leather it is made from is comfortable and sturdy. All of the materials are good quality. In that respect it is not just a novelty item.

The only problem I have with it is the latching mechanism. It has snaps for a closure rather than a buckle. There are two sets of snaps, so it is slightly adjustable, but I am accustomed to collars that buckle and are far more adjustable.

In addition to being adjustable, a buckle is a more secure closure. The snaps rule this out as a serious bondage accessory, but for those who are just trying out their taste for the BDSM look, it’s still a winner. This is a nice looking piece. It is unfortunate that they went with this small, but significant downgrade that would normally be reserved for an overall inferior item.

Value vs. Price
This is the part that makes me want to cry. This thing is super cheap! It costs $16.50, and at that price you would expect a lowgrade novelty piece of jewelry. That is not what you get with this piece. It is nice. It is great. It is grade A, other than the damn snaps!

Is it worth what you pay? Fuck yeah, and then some IF you are going for look and feel and it happen to fit you. If you are shooting for a functional piece you’re kind of screwed and that’s sad because it is oh so close.

If you’re on a quest for sex toys that double as wardrobe items this one is iffy, but still a nice addition for the price.

Sugasm #162

2009-04-02T14:39:00.000-06:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #163? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Justify My Love “All I could think of was to have his arms around me so that they could make everything right.”

Tied Naked In A Field Of Grass“ Growing up on a farm has its advantages.”

On Machismo “It’s very weird, this rigid interpretation of gender in America.”

Sugasm Editor Sex Work And Compassion: The Angry Family

Editor’s Choice Heat

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Pleasurists #22

2009-04-01T14:19:00.000-06:00

Found via Art or Porn.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #21? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #23? Submit it here before Sunday April 5th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

$20 Babeland GC or Quickie Kit! Deadline: Tuesday, March 31st

Blush Contest Deadline: April 1st by midnight EST.

Whoops! Win an Onye Deadline: April 2, 11:59 pm.

Win the toy I rave about Deadline: Friday, April 10th.

Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.

CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009.

Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Delight by Scarlet Lotus

Onye by Carnivalesq

Tantus Elements by Marla Singer

Flower Power by Erin Leone

LELO Lily by Sexorcism

Liv by Marla Singer

We-Vibe by Sexorcism

SinFive ilo by Sleeping Dreamer

Natural Contours’ Jolie by Sarah

LELO Liv by Beautiful Dreamer

Fukuoku 9000 by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Laya Spot Carnivalesq

LELO Liv by Nadia West

Jasmine by Emotional Bliss by Sleeping Dreamer

Layaspot by Essin’ Em

Mary Mermaid by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

LELO Gigi by Thursday’s Child

Aphrodite Massager by Domina Doll

Dildos

Pink Lemonade by Marla Singer

Don Wands glass bubble wand dildo by Eliot Bodem

Taffy Tickler by Thursday’s Child

Sugar Drop by CarrieAnn

Lemon Drops Glass Dildo by Epiphora

Anal Toys

Tantus Little Flirt by Sleeping Dreamer

Njoy Pure Plug by Wilhelmina Wang

Sinfive Alterno Beads by Sleeping Dreamer

Little Flirt by Kyle

Toys for Cocks

Monkey Spanker by Epiphora

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Intimate Organics Hydra Lubricant by Scarlet Lotus

Pjur Med Clean Spray, Pjur Anal Comfort Spray, and Pjur Back Door Anal Glide lube by Sexorcism

Shunga Body Slide by Sleeping Dreamer

Stimula for Women by Sexorcism

Sex Kits

Ovation Intimacy Kit by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

BDSM/Fetish

Beginner Ball Gag by Tantus by Jezebelle

Adult Books/Games

Never Have the Same Sex Twice by Sienna

Frenzy edited by Alison Tyler by Champagne and Benzedrine

Spanked by The Porn Librarian

Bare With Me Game by Epiphora

Frenzy by Sienna

The Mistress Manual by Eliot Bodem

How to Be a Dominant Diva by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

Buck’s Fantasies by The Porn Librarian

Desperately Sleazy Susan by J.D. Bauchery

Porns Most Outrageous Outtakes #2 by FrzKey

Brief Encounters by The Porn Librarian

Beauty and the Butch by J.D. Bauchery

Storage

Devine Pink Croco Satchel by CarrieAnn

Miscellaneous

Liberator Ramp by Scarlet Lotus

Liberator Stage by Beautiful Dreamer

LELO Luna Beads by Sleeping Dreamer

Penetrating Mini Clit Pump by Sommer Marsden

Luna Beads by Marla Singer

Bondage Betty Lingerie by Nadia West

Ellie Shoes Platform Boots by Luna Orignaux

Edible Pasties by Carnivalesq

LELO Luna Beads by Dangerous Lilly

Review: Kick Ass Boots

2009-03-27T01:05:00.006-06:00

I hate wearing women’s shoes and avoid them like the plague, but the problem there is that I love wearing sexy shoes. Boots are what really do it for me. I still have and wear a pair of very sexy thigh high boots I got my hands on over 20 years ago.

Last year when my Carolina steel toes (that I bought in 1998) finally bit it I went on a search for replacements. God those boots were comfortable and practical. They were my second pair and they lasted forever through all kinds of abuse. Carolina no longer carries my size, the bastards. So, I ordered a ridiculously expensive pair of boots that served just about every fantasy I have ever had when it come to footwear. They are sexy, evil, nasty, and mean. The steel toes are on the outside. They go all the way up to my knees and they have buckles. They are the ultimate sexy MadMax boots from Hell. I can’t wear them out of the house without getting comments. They ran me about $250 and take about half an hour to put on and lace up. I ordered them site unseen online so they’re too big and I have to wear inserts with them. But I digress…

This post is about a completely different pair of boots. My “MadMax” boots are sexy on their own way, and the thigh highs I bought in high school are slinky and have their appeal, but neither pair satisfied that certain Betty Page kind of look I was going for. I have tried on boots in stores that had the look I wanted, but they were always so non-foot shaped inside that there was no way I could deal with them. So, when I was looking through my favorite site for sextoys and found the Ellie Shoes platform boots I was skeptical, but decided it was worth a shot. (Hint: If your favorite sextoy site doesn’t have a clothing section you need to look elsewhere!)

When I first tried them on I thought I was going to die. Really. I was massively hungover and having an impaired balance system, the extremely tall boot just about put me on my ass (one day I’ll explain how aluminum toxicity and other factors have destroyed my equilibrium). I loved the look of the boots, but really didn’t think I would ever manage to wear them standing up.

Well, I was wrong. Once I got both boots on and started waling around, I found them to be quite comfortable and easy to wear. This was a huge shock! They’re actually cushy inside and fit the shape of my feet! They’re fucking comfortable!!! That just does not happen! You probably don’t understand to what extent that does not happen for me. These are miracle boots!

That being said, I still walk like an idiot in them, but I can walk! They have platform soles – a 1½ inch boost that makes the heel look even more dramatic then it really is. Overall, they make me several inches taller than I am used to being, so as I walk through my very old house I keep ducking, thinking I’m going to hit my head on stuff. It’s comical. I clomp around loudly, and it scares the cats, but I’m actually stable in these boots. The heels are broad enough to be stable, but the design of the boot allows them to appear narrow and elegant. Have I mentioned that I can’t walk in girl shoes? I think I could actually learn to do some superhero ass kicking in these. They are that stable.

So, let’s get down to brass tacks here. I was wearing them the other night for a fun photo shoot with my man. When the time came to toss the camera and get down to business I mentioned that I wanted to lose the boots. He was OK with that, but hesitant, until I reminded him that these have a zipper! He’s used to the MadMax boots that take real time and effort to remove. These boots just unzip and go. They have the super sexy laces, but you don’t have to use them.

Pleasurists #21

2009-03-26T16:31:00.000-06:00

Unknown found via Art or Porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #20? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #22? Submit it here before Sunday March 29th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Note: Since there are SO MANY contests this week the Editor’s Pick is all of the contests. Enter and win something!

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Anal Toy GiveAway Deadline: Tuesday March 24th.

The “Screaming O” Orgasm Contest Deadline: Thursday, March 26th at 11:59PM.

Win a Regard Indiscret Set! Deadline: March 27th at 11:59pm PST.

Win a $20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 28th 2009.

$20 Babeland GC or Quickie Kit! Deadline: Tuesday, March 31st

Blush Contest Deadline: April 1st by midnight EST.

Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.

CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009.

Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Sasi by Nadia West

Venus by Sommer Marsden

Paris Duckie by Beautiful Dreamer

Showerbabe by Miss KissThis

Xtreme Kit by Epiphora

Nubby G by Beautiful Dreamer

LELO Mia by Sienna

Fusion Duality by Evolved by CarrieAnn

Benjamin Bond by Epiphora

The O Honey by Ginger Leigh

Evolved Novelties Citron by Thursday’s Child

Liv by LELO by Wendy Blackheart

Dildos

Melon Crank Glass Dildo by Scarlet Lotus

Ella by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Phallix Glass 24 Karat Gold Double Happiness by Sexorcism

Crystal Wand by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Belladonna’s Magic Hand by Joe Mirabella

Anal Toys

Power Probe by The Countess

LELO Bob by Amber of Scarlet’s Letter

Toys for Cocks

Fun Factory Love Ring by Beautiful Dreamer

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Astroglide by Joe Mirabella

Ginger Pheromone Massage Cream by Domina Doll

Kama Sutra Sweet Heart Kit by Cinnamon Chambers

Kama Sutra Sweet Celebrations Box by Catalina Loves

BDSM/Fetish

Door Jam Cuffs by Thursday’s Child

Shining star crop and Star Paddle by Essin’ Em

Lovers Headgear Advanced Mask by Thursday’s Child

Kinklab Leather Bondage Collar by Ang

Adult Books

Best Lesbian Erotica 08 by Scarlet Lotus

The Story of O by Sienna

Adult Movies/Porn

The New Romantix by Epiphora

Intimate Temptations by The Porn Librarian

Dangerous Liaisons by FrzKey

Tribade Sorority - Campus Life by J.D. Bauchery

Breakin’ the Rules by The Porn Librarian

Friends Don’t Let Friends Fuck Alone by Beautiful Dreamer

Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco by Sinclair Sexsmith

A Transsexual Love Story by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Storage

FYN Big Foot by Marla Singer

Miscellaneous

Regard Indiscret Set by Scarlet Lotus

Gold/Black Satin Corset by Sleeping Dreamer

Ruby Nipple Dangles by The Countess

Liberator Throe by Carnivalesq

Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves by Epiphora

La Femme Harness by Alpine Subdreams

Regard Indiscret Set by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Chocolate Party Hats.Com by That Toy Chick

Sugasm #161

2009-03-23T17:42:00.000-06:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #162? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
The Balance of Power“A wave of lust coursed through her body at his words”

Betrayal“What’s this? Evidence of pleasure?”

Secret signals“I will adore him for it”

Sugasm Editor
Not An Overnight

Editor’s Choice
The Ghost of Abuse

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Fetish Jade

2009-03-19T12:02:00.003-06:00

Just had to post this beautiful photo of Fetish Jade enjoying a little wax play! You must go check out her site!

End Abstinence Only Education

2009-03-18T12:41:00.003-06:00

Ever have someone who regularly engages in casual sex tell you that they don’t use condoms because condoms are useless and don’t provide any protection? They know this because that is what they were “taught in school.” Condoms are just a scam.

Welcome to the glorious reality of abstinence only education!

The more I think about it the more pissed off I get. These people who are teaching kids that condoms are useless should be held criminally responsible. Since they are the same people who believe that abortion is murder, they should be brought up on murder charges for every abortion they have contributed to; every STD-related death, and every suicide, too. They should be forced to provide the financial and hands-on care of the children that are conceived due to their lies.

Is it irresponsible to make the choice of having unprotected sex at the risk of unwanted pregnancy or disease? Yes and no. The lie works both ways. By saying that condoms don’t actually work you are implying that there is an unrealistically low risk involved when having unprotected sex. Why? Well, look at all of these people that have been having “unprotected” sex (using useless condoms) with no consequences!

I honestly think we would be better off with no sex education at all than with sex miseducation. You can do the research on the numbers that prove just how ineffective abstinence only education really is at preventing teen pregnancy and STDs for yourself. The evidence of is glaring in that impersonal statistical way. And that is enough to make it worth changing, but it’s not what makes me crazy.

What disturbs me the most are the personal stories you find when you Google “abstinence only” “condoms don’t work”. Try it. Read what people have to say about the films they saw that are used in these programs and the horrifying questions their children asked them about condoms and sex. You’ll come away from it feeling like the people who designed abstinence only education want to hurt and kill kids.

If you want to see abstinence only sex miseducation come to an end, here is a website that will help you send an email to President Obama on the matter. Please do this soon as he is working on the 2010 budget right now and it will be finalized very soon.

Pleasurists #20

2009-03-17T22:17:00.000-06:00

via therealkatewest

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #19? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #21? Submit it here before Sunday March 15th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Pure Romance Contest Deadline: March 18th, 11:59pm.

I’ve got the golden ticket….. Deadline: March 20th 11:59pm EST.

$20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 22nd at 11:59pm.

Lucky You!: Love Letter Contest Deadline: March 23rd noon EST.

Win a $20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 28th 2009.

$20 Babeland GC or Quickie Kit! Deadline: Tuesday, March 31st

Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Mini G Rock by Sommer Marsden

Vibro-pod byHotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

OhMiBod / Vox amPlug Classic Rock by Champagne and Benzedrine

Babelight by Nadia West

Fun Factory Delight by Sexorcism

Dolly Dolphin II by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Shower Babe by CarrieAnn

Gigolo by CarrieAnn

Infrared Warming Rechargeable Massager by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

LELO

Liv by CarrieAnn

Liv by The Countess

Liv by Erin Leone

Liv by Sexorcism

Liv by Carnivalesq

Nea by Erin Leone

Nea by Panthera Pardus

Dildos

Silky by Sleeping Dreamer

Alumina Motion by Marla Singer

Anal Toys

Bloomy by Beautiful Dreamer

Bendy Beads by Scarlet Lotus

Bloomy by Thursday’s Child

Toys for Cocks

Pumping: How to Grow a Dick by Sinclair Sexsmith

Lacey’s Pussy And Ass Review by Betty Rocket

Packing Cocks

Medium and Large Packy by Erin Leone

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

ID Glide by Beautiful Dreamer

ID Juicy Lube by Beautiful Dreamer

Smooth Shave Gel by Shay

Afterglow Massage Candle by Marla Singer

Frixion Lube by Dangerous Lilly

Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel - Warming by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

Black Rubber Whip by Scarlet Lotus

Naughty Nipples by Sleeping Dreamer

Natural Rattan Cane by Bad Bad Girl

Colt Grips by Alpine Subdreams

Red Wide-Tipped Riding Bat by Scarlet Lotus

Adult Books

Em & Lo’s Rec Sex: An A-Z Guide to Hooking Up by Beautiful Dreamer

The New Topping Book by Wendy Blackheart

Adult Movies/Porn

Glamcore by The Porn Librarian

Great Sex For A Lifetime Volume One by J.D. Bauchery

Jiburiru Vol. 1 by FrzKey

Buddy Wood’s - Kimber James by The Porn Librarian

The New Romantix by Sexorcism

Fetish Dolls by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Storage

Lockable Vibrator Case by Domina Doll

The Divine Toy Box by Catalina Loves

Miscellaneous

Sexy Satin Corset and G-string by Sleeping Dreamer

The Blowguard by Thursday’s Child

Web Exploring

2009-03-14T23:43:00.000-06:00

I spend what some might call more than a significant amount of time online. Still, I can be a bit behind. Recently I have discovered the joys of Twitter and Second Life.

Twitter
I joined Twitter a while back, but didn’t really get into it until the last week or so. It’s really a lot of fun and you can waste a huge amount of time there, or not. That’s kind of the beauty of it. The posts can only be very short, which honestly put me off at first, but you can get sucked in. The real advantage I see with it over other social networking sites is the speed at which you can connect with new people. It takes a bit to get used to, but it’s a lot of fun. You can find me on Twitter here.

Second Life
I am still getting the hang of this one. So far I like it, but I have to admit that I am progressing very slowly. It’s a much bigger time sink than Twitter, to say the least. I have known about it for a long time, but didn’t get inspired to join until I read about all the opportunities for writers (which I actually heard about on Twitter, BTW). Second Life isn’t really an online game, it’s more of an online community with a game-like interface.

Converting Power Tools to Sex Toys – Not a DYI Project?

2009-03-12T20:44:00.001-06:00

I am all for DYI sex toys. In fact, as I’ve mentioned before, there was a time in my life when all of my sex toys were homemade. It’s fun, it’s a great creative outlet, and when it works well, a great source of pride in a job well done. It’s even a great way to impress your lover. I’ll be the first to admit that some of my projects didn’t work as planned. It was trial and error, but I knew that some testing would be required and no one ever got hurt.

I am not often shocked by the things people will try, but today a friend alerted me to a story that was sad, horrifying, and even somewhat shocking. It’s a story of DYI gone terribly wrong. The man involved decided to convert a reciprocating saw into a sex toy. That’s all well and good, but he left the fucking blade on the saw!

If you’re not familiar with power tools used as sex toys, they’re out there. You can buy entire kits that include the saw, the adaptor, and the attachments. A great example is the The FuckSall Fucking Kit. The “saw” acts as the motor. No blade is involved. The blade is replaced by a smooth adaptor.

Now, here’s the key – you must use the adaptor! No, you can’t just impale the toy onto the blade, as this couple learned the hard way. What went wrong, in their case, was that the saw blade sawed through the plastic sex toy.

So, while I’m all for DYI sex toy projects, some things should not be tried at home. All homemade sex toys should be tried and tested before being used in any way that could cause injury if they do not function properly. Some ideas need more testing than others, and some should just be left alone unless you are ready to purchase the right parts.

Pleasurists #19

2009-03-10T12:04:00.001-06:00

Image by GuilleDes used under a Creative Commons License

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #18? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #20? Submit it here before Sunday March 15th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Economy got you down? Closes at 150 comments.

Pure Romance Contest Deadline: March 18th, 11:59pm.

Win a Babeland Gift Card Deadline: Saturday, March 14th.

Win a $20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 28th 2009.

Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Pearl Cuffs by CarrieAnn

The second I saw them a fantasy bloomed, large and dark, in the recesses of my mind.

I had images of formalwear and candlelight, gourmet meals and decadent desserts. A meal served silently, these dainty pearl cuffs binding my wrists. Images of kneeling at his feet, being hand fed bits of his meal and sips of his wine - the pearl cuffs wrapping my wrists, hands helplessly still in my lap.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Seduction by Evolved by Toygirl

Symphony G-Harmony by Adriana

LELO Elise by Beautiful Dreamer

Sweet Spot by Vibratex by Sleeping Dreamer

Laya Spot by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Onye by Dangerous Lilly

Hitachi Magic Wand by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe by Adriana

We-Vibe by Beautiful Dreamer

Ducky by Domina Doll

Fun Factory Twister by Epiphora

Dildos

Brando by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Share XL by Ansley Agnello

Curved Purple Swirl by Jezebelle

Raquel by Ansley Agnello

Johnny by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Cyberglass Snake of Paradise by Bad Bad Girl

Curved Purple Swirl by Ansley Agnello

Anal Toys

Bloomy by Marla Singer

Bloomy by Alpine Subdreams

Toys for Cocks

Monkey Spanker by Sleeping Dreamer

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Intimo Massage Oil by Thursday’s Child

Wet Aromatherapy Oil and Wet Pheromone by Alpine Subdreams

BDSM/Fetish

Leather Hogtie by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Purple Beaded Nipple Clamps by Eliot Bodem

Bondage Tape by Vixen

Black Latex Body Paint by Essin’ Em

Adult Books/Games

Freedom is Slavery by Sommer Marsden

Make Your Own Sex Toys by Curvaceous Dee

Adult Movies/Porn

Superfreak by J.D. Bauchery

Crash Pad Series - Episode 2: Johnny & Trouble by The Porn Librarian

The New Romantix by Carnivalesq

Hot Girls on Skates by Bad Bad Girl

G-Spot by FrzKey

Morphine by J.D. Bauchery

Leather Sessions by The Porn Librarian

Storage

FYN Adult Toychest by Thursday’s Child

FYN Adult Toybox XL by Bad Bad Girl

FYN Big Foot Case by Epiphora

Miscellaneous

Amazing Hot Heart Massager by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Sex Clean Toy Cleaner by Thursday’s Child

Fun Factory Teneo Uno by Sexorcism

Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel (Warming) by Wilhelmina

Edible Pasties by Coy Pink

Get This Story Out of My Head (and onto the page)!

2009-03-08T12:33:00.000-06:00

I’m working on a story that’s got a long history.

The original idea came about years ago in a different story. That story was written to specific guidelines for a contest. I let it rest for a few years, but realized that there were elements in the story that I wanted to explore further, without the constraints that I was originally conforming to. In fact, I wanted to take those ideas in a completely different direction.

First I tried it in flasher form. It was my first flasher. I had been interested in writing flashers for a while because the concept is so much like the idea flashes I used to get all the time and just collected to piece together in larger stories, but they didn’t always lend themselves to more. Often, the best part of the idea was just that brief thing, and trying to build on it lost the intensity of the moment. So, I wrote the flasher and I liked it. It really brought into focus and intensified the one key element on which everything else in the story would be built. I enjoyed the exercise, too. However, this was not that kind of story. It begged to grow.

So I worked on it some more. I added in some character development, things I knew about these characters that had hopefully shown through in the flasher as much as something that short can give you a taste of the characters. I fleshed out the scene from the flasher and expanded on it in both directions. Altogether I wound up with a story about ten times as long. A good, comfortable length for a short story that amounted to basically one scene in what could become a longer story, or be left as a stand alone. Most importantly, I really, really like it.

Here is where the problem comes in. Maybe I’m too in live with it. I keep going back and reworking it, making tiny changes here and there. It never seems just right. I never feel satisfied. It feels like something is missing, and I can’t put my finger on how to fill that in. The action is complete. No problem there. But there is one idea that I need to convey that I just can’t seem to get down. And the possibilities of how to make that happen are overwhelming. It could mean making radical changes or adding far more than I want and watering down the intensity of the story. It’s driving me nuts.

The worst part is that it is holding me back. Normally, I would handle something like this by setting it aside and letting it incubate, then coming back to it. This time, it interferes. I try to write other stories and this one screams at me, “You can’t do that yet. I’m not complete. You need me. You need to make me whole before I can let you move on.” It whittles at the back of my mind; the idea that my best story is 99% done. Can’t I just sit down and finish it? Polish it off. Give it the treatment it deserves, so that I can wallow in the glory even if no one else appreciates it like I do.

Where are the Tattooed Men?

2009-03-07T12:12:00.000-07:00

Men with tattoos are hot! It’s not a requirement for me in someone I’m actually with I real life. There as so many things that are more important than looks in a relationship. Then again, if you’re looking for a one-night-stand, looks can be pretty high on the list.

When I’m looking for sexy pictures to gaze at, looks are pretty much everything. That IS the point. I find it very important when watching porn, too. So, I can get pretty damn picky about it. The problem is, I have a hard time finding images of men that have the look that turns my crank, and particularly have a hard time finding sites dedicated to hot guys with tattoos.

I don’t get it. I know there are lots of other women out there that feel like I do about the subject. When I have searched online the closest thing I could find was this site for gay men. I did find a singles site, which could be useful if you’re looking for someone and want to get real specific, but I’m not looking for someone. I’m just looking for a little eye candy.

So, if you know of any sites (I was going to say “any good sites,” but right now I’ll settle for finding any) that feature hot, tattooed men, please add the link in the comments!

10 Places to Have Sex at Least Once

2009-03-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

Reading K and M Bedroom Blog inspired me to list 10 great places to have sex at least once in your lifetime.

On the hood of a car in the street
The woods
A barn
The restroom of your favorite bar
A dark alley
An old, abandoned building
On a pool table
In the snow
A walk-in closet in someone else’s house
Anywhere above 10,000’

How many of these have you already tried?

Sugasm #160

2009-03-06T02:02:00.001-07:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #161? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

He beats me “I bite my lip in anticipation as I follow his direction.”

Jerking Off: You’re doing it wrong! “However, I’m in it now. And I need it.”

Love Languages “How do I best show my love?”

Sugasm Editor Faking A Four Way

Editor’s Choice Sugarbutch Star: Matt (part 1)

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Pleasurists #18

2009-03-02T21:12:00.001-07:00

Image by Don Julian

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #17? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #19? Submit it here before Sunday March 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Kink Anyone? Deadline: Friday March 6th, 2009.

Pure Romance Contest Deadline: March 9th, midnight.

Win a Babeland Gift Card Deadline: Saturday, March 14th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Everything they do, they do with exhilaration and wild abandon. They explore their sexual love like children who are delighted and amazed by everything they see and touch. I had a perma-smile welded on my face as I watched them make love with such tenderness: their smiles, laughter and joy radiating out of the screen to affect me as well. It was so powerful and beautifully poignant to watch their sweet ecstatic moans and tearful orgasms as they convulsed with ecstasy.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Elastomer Rabbit Habit by Alpine Subdreams

Hitachi Magic Wand by Marla Singer

Bnaughty by Thursday’s Child

Oui by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

SaSi by Sleeping Dreamer

Dildos

Duece 2 by Tantus by Sleeping Dreamer

Njoy Fun Wand by Beautiful Dreamer

Helix Rocket by Thursday’s Child

Obama Dildo by Carnivalesq

Feeldoe Fatboy by Kyle

Gold Wrapped Spiral Wand by CarrieAnn

Anal Toys

Aneros Peridise by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Pyrex Glass Butt Plug by Alpine Subdreams

Njoy Pure Plug by Ansley Agnello

Bloomy by Adriana

Njoy Pfun Plug by Average Joe

Packing Cocks

Extra Small Packy by Erin Leone

Soft Pack by Holden

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

ID Glide Lube by Wilhelmina Wang

Inttimo Aromatherapy Oil & Shaving Kreme by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

Rubber Slave Hood by Alpine Subdreams

Leather and Fur Paddle by Thursday’s Child

Experimental Kink Kit by Beautiful Dreamer

Bondage Tape by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Vampire Gloves by Curvaceous Dee

Vibrating Nipple Clamps by Jezebelle

Belt/Bondage Cuffs by Luna Orignaux

Japanese Drip Candles by Domina Doll

Adult Books/Games

Getting Off by Sexorcism

Sex Casino by Sleeping Dreamer

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

The Surrender of O by The Porn Librarian

Boobalicious Volume 1 by FrzKey

Glamazons by J.D. Bauchery

Miscellaneous

Loyale Pomeroy Throw by Sexorcism

Fishnet Halter Dress by Sleeping Dreamer

Fun Factory Teneo Duo by Sexorcism

Acadia Candle Company Candle in Wild Strawberry by Thursday’s Child

Jaguar Harness by Sinclair Sexsmith

Review: Belt That Doubles as Bondage Cuffs

2009-03-01T16:12:00.001-07:00

Until the last few years, the bulk of my sex toys were DYI projects. In fact, before internet shopping became commonplace for me, I didn’t even know you could buy most of this stuff. I would dream up all kinds of ideas and then try to figure out how to make them work. Trips to the hardware store had me seeing potential items for bondage gear on nearly every aisle. I would wonder around, sometimes for hours, planning new project or searching for just the right supplies. Ultimately an employee would approach me and ask, “Can I help you find something?” It was hard not to laugh. Sometimes they kept pushing, following me around, asking question, and generally acting like there was some problem with me picking out items without assistance. Then my dungeon fantasies would turn to the less pleasurable.

Having this mindset, I can’t tell you how many times I have absently played with a belt, looping it around and fashioning it into cuffs. I was never really happy with the results. More recently I discovered that my boyfriend has the same habit. I have to wonder just how many people actually do this. So, I was absolutely thrilled when I came across a belt online that is designed specifically to work this way.

I have seen plenty of bondage belts, some quite fashionable, but most not very practical for everyday wear. This belt is different. It looks pretty much like a very plain, basic leather belt. A little bit of extra hardware, but it’s very subtle and completely inline with the belt. No O-rings or D-rings, or anything flashy or dangly to get snagged and hung up on in everyday wear. Adding to the convenience is the fact that this is a self-contained unit. The belt itself loops around into cuffs, so there is no need for any kind of attachments. You don’t need anything to go with this belt to use it as a bondage device, making it the perfect accessory for anyone who likes to be prepared for spontaneous sex in unlikely places.

I love this belt. It is quick and easy to use, and it makes for comfortable cuffs. It doubles nicely as a regular belt. It doesn’t have that cheap, novelty item look and feel. If your personal fetish requires escape-proof restraints, this might be a little on the lightweight side for you. It is not that difficult to slip out of, at least if you’re good at that kind of thing, but I think the convenience and portability of the item more than makes up for it. Not to mention the enticing nature of wearing it or knowing your partner is wearing it.

Women have so many clothing items at their disposal to build sexual tension or create a fun surprise. We can wear sexy lingerie under the most boring looking outfit and know where that’s going, or even flash it to someone now and then to let them in on the secret. Men don’t really have that option. This belt is the perfect solution for men who want their own version of that kind of teaser. Of course, for women, it just adds to the toolbox.

Play Day

2009-02-27T23:41:00.002-07:00

Have you ever set aside a day just for sex? I’m sure many of you have. If you haven’t you should try it. While it can obviously be a great thing for couples, don’t rule it out if you’re going solo either. An entire day of self love is not only refreshing, you’ll be amazed how you turn heads for the next few days! Whether you’re partnered or on your own, a full play day is a very healthy, happy thing!

Food
You can always incorporate food into sexual activities. If mingling food and sex squicks you that’s, fine, just don’t forego eating. Low blood sugar can make you cranky, depressed, and/or anxious. Keep your meals reasonably light so you don’t get bloated or sleepy and so you don’t get cramps during sex (much like the eating and swimming rule). Try to incorporate aphrodisiac foods, but unless food is the main theme for your sex day, don’t let the preparations take over the day. I discourage chemical laden foods, too, such as those containing MSG, because they make me feel sluggish and generally crappy. Even if you’re not aware of it, they probably make you feel that way too to some extent. Also, avoid excessive sugar due to the crash and irritability.

A little bit of protein, like meats and cheese, and a little bit of fruit, seem to work really well to snack on throughout the day.

Mini Spa
A little self-care can go a long way. You don’t have to go to a spa. You can do this for yourself at home. Just a little pampering can do worlds for you, or you can take it as far as you like. This can be done the morning of your play day or the night before. What I like to do is a coffee scrub, complete shave, full-body coconut oil (unless I choose to wait and have my lover do that part later), followed a glass of wine with a half hour of journaling with some good music, candles, and incense.

The Activities
This is really a matter of personal preference. All day sex does not mean that you have to do nothing but have sex all day. For most of us, that would be very unrealistic and probably result in some serious injuries. Anything can work. It really all depends on your attitude. All kinds of everyday activities can carry more than a little hint of sexual tension. Focusing your attention on your partner throughout the day can be enough to keep the sexual energy high. You could play board games, watch movies, cook, whatever, and keep that energy going.

Clothing
What you wear matters! That doesn’t mean it has to be all your sexy gear all day. You may feel more inclined to arousal wearing something comfortable. On the other hand, some of us get more and more turned on by wearing restrictive, sexy clothing. If your house is comfortable enough you may prefer the all-nude day.

Reading and other enhancements
For some, the play day is enhanced by some personal time. A little reading indulgence can help you relax. Maybe one of you enjoys porn and the other doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to make room for individual activities that foster arousal, just don’t let them become so much of the day that they take away from what you enjoy together.

Pleasurists #17

2009-02-26T00:35:00.001-07:00

Image by flexgraph used under a Creative Commons License

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #16? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #18? Submit it here before Sunday March 1st at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Sorry the list is a bit late this week, it’s been a crazy last few days. Pleasurists #18 will be out on time!

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Bloomy by Jezebelle

Two things stood out right away; the amazing sensation that the curves give, and that the end of the curly loop is long enough for clitoral stimulation. Although the Bloomy is short, the curves and girth of the toy make up for it!

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Baby Bug by Sarah

Swingin Pendulum by Adriana

Evolved Waterproof Unity- Fusion Edition by Beautiful Dreamer

The Isis by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Opus by Essin’ Em

Miracle Massager by Adriana

Dildos

The Inauguration Of The Obama (Dildo That Is) by Betty Rocket

Acute by Erin Leone

Pink Flower Glass Dildo by Sleeping Dreamer

Silk 2 by Thursday’s Child

Cobalt Blue Duchess by Erin Leone

Dai-Do #3 by Sleeping Dreamer

Anal Toys

Little Flirt by Erin Leone

Bloomy by Sexorcism

Ripple by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Bloomy by Erin Leone

The Pandora G-spot P-spot Stimulator by Domina Doll

Toys for Cocks

4-Way Girth Arouser Duck by Sleeping Dreamer

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Inttimo Aroma Oil by Sommer Marsden

Inttimo Aromatherapy - Forbidden Fruit by Curvaceous Dee

Kamasutra Pleasure Potion Lube by Jezebelle

Climax Bursts Anal Lube by Carnivalesq

BDSM/Fetish

Silk Sashay Cuffs by Sleeping Dreamer

Liberator Fascinator Wet Set by Beautiful Dreamer

Super Strap Love Sling by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Paddle fleece by Spartacus by Average Joe

Large Rubber Whip by Ansley Agnello

Adult Books

Tantric Sex for Women by Carnivalesq

Adult Movies/Porn

Domestic Discipline by FrzKey

Layover by J.D. Bauchery

Kamil Fox by The Porn Librarian

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Miscellaneous

Intimo Kitty Kreme Shaving Cream by Thursday’s Child

Nikki’s Vibration Dual Pleasure Pump by Adriana

Liberator Fascinator Microfiber Throe by Beautiful Dreamer

Amazing Hot Heart Massager by Miss KissThis

Too Much Sex? I Don’t Think So

2009-02-22T21:32:00.001-07:00

So many issues and discussions have come up lately to prompt me to write this. There seems to be a general consensus that we are constantly bombarded by sexual images and that that is a bad thing. I have to say up front that I strongly disagree.

The problem is a very uptight society whose obsession with repressing and condemning anything sexual is superseded only by its inability to resist effective marketing tactics. Fear and condemn the naked body, desire, and arousal, but by all means do not hesitate to use them to sell things. And if you can combine the two, all the better! (Example: showing the Paris Hilton pantyless photos to draw in traffic to an article condemning her for the behavior)

I long for the day when we shed the inhibitions and condemnation that dampen and taint our natural ability to simply be sexual and feel good about it. The day when if a woman wears something sexy or revealing, no one acts like there is some reason to condemn her for it. When being overtly sexual and sexual orientation are both non-issues. I long for the day when people can accept the fact that they become aroused without fearing their own arousal. When the flitter of physical pleasure that you might feel in the shower or when the seam of your jeans rubs you just right is just a happy part of life, not an embarrassment. The day when the phrase “wondering eyes” has no meaning, because we all accept that it is completely normal to enjoy looking at those around us when they look good.

Yes, I long for the day when the term “public indecency” is a joke. When refraining from breastfeeding in public is condemned as unhealthy for your child. When public displays of affection are considered a good sign, a sign that we are becoming a healthier, more loving (and therefore more moral) society, rather than a sign that we’re all “going to Hell in a handbasket.”

The most recent post I’ve read on the subject was “The Golden Age”, by Lisabet Sarai. While I don’t agree with everything she says, her overall message really speaks to me. I think that any disagreement we may have on the subject is generational, and maybe her very fortunate opportunity to take full advantage of “the golden age” as she calls it, in some strange way gives her a more idealistic view of sexual condemnation than my own. What I mean is, her point of reference is very different, and it was a blessed and unique time.

My parents were of the age to enjoy that special time, but they did not take advantage of it. So, while I was told about it, it didn’t really count. The free love era was passed down to me as mostly an anomaly. However, I was also taught that society in general was becoming ever more lax and liberal in its view of sex. That was completely inaccurate. When I was a child showing cleavage and butt cheeks was just summer wear. Now it’s, well, it’s a whole different story. Now it’s a statement!

When I was a child it was not weird, criminal, shocking, or perverted to admit that teenagers had, or at least thought about and tried to have, sex. Now it’s sick and criminal. So sick and criminal that if a teenage girl gets caught sending a nude photo of herself to her boyfriend, of her own free will, she is legally labeled and prosecuted as a pedophile. Would someone please explain to me how one commits a sex crime against oneself?

No, I don’t think we are exposed to too much sex. I think we are exposed to too little. I think that until we start to accept sexual desire and arousal for what it is, a natural and hardwired thing like hunger for food, we will continue to suffer and force suffering on others for no reason.

So, Say it with me folks…”Sex is good!!! Sex is our friend…”

Sugasm #159

2009-02-19T15:38:00.001-07:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #160? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
The Annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Posting: 2009 Edition
“Ahh, Valentine’s Day. Sigh.”

Exposed
“We talk a lot about putting me on display, and it was even more intense in reality as it has been in fantasy.”

Yes
“At the edge of the precipice, my nerves rippling with electricity, i tumbled down into you”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Compassion: A Call From Baghdad

Editor’s Choice
Stairwell

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Your Inner World – What Are You Reading?

2009-02-18T13:31:00.002-07:00

A book (or movie) can get you in the mood whether it is “that kind” or not. Reading something that puts you in a place, setting, or lets you hang out with characters that you enjoy can create a state of mind that turns you on. I find that whatever I am reading at the moment can have a huge residual impact on my outlook. Sometimes that means I have to take a break from a book that I really like, just to get a change of pace. I tend to be a very involved reader.

I find that a story that is really absorbing can be much more effective than a simple stroke story for putting me in the mood. A stroke story can be more intense, a quick turn on, but if you’re not really ready to get in the mood, completely ineffective. Something that really takes you away to the time and place and completely immerses you sets up a deeper, richer involvement that opens up a world of possibilities.

I think this is why when I write, sometimes my sex scenes come about are inspired at the most inappropriate moments. Those are always my best scenes.

Right now I’m reading Interview With a Vampire again, purely for the state of mind. I was 14 the first time I read it. It has been years since I tried rereading it and I’m very curious to see how it reads for me now; if it delivers that same sense of awe and wonder.

The decision to reread it was a simple one. I am reading some great books right now, but they aren’t producing the desired effect. I want to be in a mental state that is more creative and productive. To really notice the world and all the little beautiful things that used to leap out at me. I want to be engaged in the moment. There were several books that encouraged that for me, set the mood, and helped me reach that state of mind.

Of course, reading is not the only tool I am using to reignite my sense. Music, smells, tastes, lighting. What I am really trying to capture is an overall state. One of the beautiful things about that state is not only an elevated mood, but heightened sexuality.

How on Earth to explain it short and sweet? It is an awakening of all the senses. A rich inner world created by direct enjoyment of my surroundings, allowing me to see in a way that is so much fuller. A way that gets blocked and overrun sometimes.

Things seem to fall into place this way. All the underlying beauty reveals itself. And when that happens anything is possible.

Pleasurists #16

2009-02-17T11:56:00.002-07:00

Jackie Martinez (#11467) by mark sebastian used under a Creative Commons License

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #15? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #17? Submit it here before Sunday February 22nd at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Tantus Beginner Ball Gag by Sleeping Dreamer

While I’ve never been heavily into BDSM, this little gag has provided me with a big opportunity (and not just a photo opportunity for you fine folks!) but the opportunity to explore outside of my comfort zone.

Includes some pretty pictures of the gag itself and the gag in action!

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Japanese ‘G’ Spot Velvet Touch Squirmy by Sleeping Dreamer

I-Vibrator Egg by Sarah

Paris Duckie by Adriana

Petite Pink Ribbon by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Elastomer Rabbit Habit by Ansley Agnello

Berman Center Juliet by Thursday’s Child

Tease and Please by Bad Bad Girl

Vibrating Glass Cobalt Nubby by Miss KissThis

Bnaughty by Kyle

Tantus Delta by Bad Bad Girl

Aphrodite by Catalina Loves

Natural Contours Ideal Massager by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Dildos

Blueberry Twist Juicer Glass Dildo by Sleeping Dreamer

Energie by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Indigo Intruder by Ansley Agnello

Chocolate Chip Glass Dildo by Jezebelle

Curve by Carnivalesq

Beaded Glass Dildo by That Toy Chick

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Toy Fluid by Ansley Agnello

WET Naturals by Sommer Marsden

ID Jucy Lube 10 Pack by Erin Leone

Afterglow Candle

BDSM/Fetish

Bondage Tape by Marla Singer

Black Leather Whip by Erin Leone

Strict Leather Bullhide Flogger by Bad Bad Girl

Nipple Suckers by Domina Doll

Adult Books

Sex, Magick and Spirit: Enlightenment through Ecstasy by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

Corsetry La Femme Part 1 by The Porn Librarian

Lesbian Life - Real Sex San Francisco (Scene 3) by J.D. Bauchery

Domination Nakite by FrzKey

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Sensual Submission #1: How to Submit to a Man by Curvaceous Dee

Storage

Tunti Illuminated Boudoir Toybox by Essin’ Em

Miscellaneous

Smartballs by Erin Leone

Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel - Cooling by Jezebelle

Shunga Secret Garden Cream by Epiphora

Sex In Public – Does The Thought Thrill You?

2009-02-16T18:34:00.002-07:00

A recent discussion brought to mind the thrill of sex in public. For me sex in public or semi-public places has always been extra exciting. Obviously, I am not the only person who feels this way. It always seemed that the most natural thing in the world to me; both the actual act of having sex in public place and finding it exciting.

It started out as the easiest place when I was a teenager and couldn’t get away with it at home. It was actually easier to get some bit of privacy out and about. That’s not so unusual, really. It’s where “parking” came from.

Later, when I was grown and could just go home, it was a matter of convenience and urgency. Who wants to let the heat of the moment slip away by waiting until you get home? What if you’re not even ready to go home, you’re just ready for a quick fuck and then back to the festivities?

Like I said, it just seemed perfectly natural, so where does the thrilling part come in? I know that for some the real thrill is the risk of getting caught. That was never my thing. It can certainly add to the intensity, but since becoming a legal adult, I have not had any reason to fear the consequences. I have been caught on more than one occasion and was simply told to go home or get a room. It was a good laugh, but nothing really exiting about it. Of course, with partners who actually were afraid of getting caught, the fact that they were so turned on that they were willing to risk it only made it more exciting for me.

The real thrill is the urgency. The fact that you want it so bad right now you can’t wait to go home or somewhere more convenient and comfortable. You just can’t wait at all. It has to be here and now! And knowing that undeniable desire and excitement is the motivation makes the thought of sex in public exciting in itself.

The biggest thrill is being with someone who doesn’t care about being seen or getting caught; being with someone who feels no need to hide their desire or their sexuality. I think it’s the combination of the confidence to be yourself and the willingness to let the attraction show publicly for all the world to see that really does it for me there. Complete and total, passionate, unfettered self-expression is so sexy!

So, what about you? Does the thought of sex in public places thrill you? If so, why?

Pleasurists #15

2009-02-10T14:55:00.001-07:00

Impatient by deltaguy used under a Creative Commons License

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #14? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #16? Submit it here before Sunday February 15th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.

NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Mia by LELO by Carnivalesq

Are you looking for a good quality clit vibe that you can charge with your laptop, even while out in public? Do you like 1-year manufacturer warranties on your sex toys? Are you desperately looking for something to give your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day? Get the Mia. Do it now.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Vibratex Thumbelina by Amber of Scarlet’s Letter

Womolia by The Countess

Liberte by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Tuyo by Thursday’s Child

Bsoft by Bswish by Sleeping Dreamer

I Rub My Duckie by Erin Leone

Cry Baby by Ang

Womolia by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Tuyo by Essin’ Em

Dildos

Tiger by Monkey

Anal Toys

Njoy Pure Plug by Beautiful Dreamer

Blue Thunder by Marla Singer

Sex Kits

Kama Sutra Weekender Kit by Sarah

Kama Sutra Sweet Celebration Box by Domina Doll

Share the Love Kit by Dangerous Lilly

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

B-Warm Massage Candle - Amber by Beautiful Dreamer

Shunga Massage Oil (Orange) by Epiphora

BDSM/Fetish

Axovus Wrist Cuffs by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Spartacus Nipple Clamps by Sienna

Large Black Rubber Whip by Nadia West

Experimental Kink Kit by Jezebelle

Black and Red Suede Flogger by Panthera Pardus

Adult Books

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes by Thursday’s Child

Family Jewels by Essin’ Em

Adult Movies/Porn

Tail of a Bondage Model by J.D. Bauchery

House of Blue Dreams by The Porn Librarian

Live In My Secrets by Epiphora

Fallen, from Wicked Pictures by Champagne and Benzedrine

Live In My Secrets by J.D. Bauchery

Girls Go Hardcore by Carnivalesq

Lesbian Life Real Sex San Francisco by Alpine Subdreams

Storage

FYN Big Foot Case by Curvaceous Dee

Miscellaneous

Stardust Chemise with G-string by Sleeping Dreamer

Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Position Master by Sommer Marsden

Luna Beads by The Countess

Fascinator Posh Throe by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Climax Bursts Toy Cleaner by Ansley Agnello

Luna Beads by Epiphora

Coochy After Shave Protection by Beautiful Dreamer

Liberator Escape by Thursday’s Child

Sugasm #158

2009-02-09T13:27:00.001-07:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #159? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Sealing the Deal“A hand reached down and grabbed my chin firmly, pulling it up to get a look at my face.”
Wait for me on your knees.“She’s not scared or wincing but open and accepting, drinking in the sensation.”
What DO Women Want?“This cultural context also means that what research describes might not be how things actually are, but how the current culture is shaping them to be.”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: Political Opinions

Editor’s Choice
Like Rube Goldberg

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Weird Sex News

2009-02-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

Just a quickie today.

Most news is either boring or depressing, with the same few stories circulating and hanging around way too long. So, I love finding sources for odd news. Today I found a site that posts “Weird Sex Stories”. Check it out, if you’re into that kind of thing!

Fantasies

2009-02-05T18:58:00.002-07:00

There are two kinds of sexual fantasies – things you really want to try someday and the things that really turn you on to think about, but you know would never work for you in real life.

The first one is pretty straightforward. It may turn out that you don’t actually like it when you try it, but you know there is a good chance that you will.

The second kind of fantasy seems to be difficult for some people to grasp. On the surface, I guess it does sound a little strange to enjoy imagining something that you would never enjoy doing in real life. If you give it just a little thought, though, it’s not so strange at all. In fact, most people engage in this type of fantasy regularly when they watch movies or read books, but for some reason they have a hard time translating the concept to a sexual fantasy.

Horror movies are the most obvious example. Horror fans aren’t ashamed of enjoying watching people get killed in all sorts of violent and gruesome ways, and there is no question that in real life they would not actually do that to someone nor would they enjoy being the victim. While there are few rare people out there that truly think that horror fans are sick, twisted, and actually capable of such things, most people do not believe that.

To bring it a little closer to home, let’s go with something more realistic. I’m thinking of the movie Falling Down. If you’ve watched the movie there was at least one scene, if not several, that made you cheer and say, “Yes! I have always wanted to do that!” with full sincerity. The difference between the fantasy and the reality is very subtle, yet there is a big difference. You don’t bother analyzing the difference, you just know it’s there, and you never actually do those things. You don’t question whether you’re some kind of fucked up individual for wanting to, you know most people have that same fantasy and they would never do it either (although if they did the downward spiral in customer service might start to reverse).

So, why is it so difficult for people to accept this reasoning when it comes to sexual fantasies? They are nothing more than mind movies. They are safe. Safe for you and safe for everyone else. There are no consequences. None of the complexity of real life, such as emotional fallout or physical pain. You can enjoy all of the emotions you choose to conjure up and experience because you know that you are in control and nothing bad will come of it. When it’s over, it’s just like it never happened – because it didn’t. In the meantime, you can let go and enjoy the ride.

Analyzing the ins and outs of why people have certain fantasies is all fine and good. It’s fascinating, actually, and can be very enlightening. Hopefully, one day it will yield some results that lift the stigma on sexual fantasies. Unfortunately, most people seem to only go so far as to condemn themselves or others for “unacceptable” fantasies. Rather than simply accepting the fantasy as nothing more than a mind movie, they need some scientific explanation to justify it, to prove that a fantasy doesn’t make you a bad person ready to be unleashed at any moment.

It seems that we can accept any kind of fantasy as long as no sexual arousal is involved. Whether it’s horror or simply a story about someone cheating on their spouse, it’s just a fun story to enjoy until someone gets turned on. Then the guilt or judgments start to roll. These judgments translate to a long list of rules for writers if you call your work erotic fiction. In turn, these rules can scrub out authenticity, turning what could have been a good story into something that just doesn’t ring true. Or they can scare writers off altogether.

Pleasurists #14

2009-02-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

Tiffany’s Boudoir by Dev1l-5pawn found by Marla Singer.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #13? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #15? Submit it here before Sunday February 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.

NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Mr. Bendy by Erin Leone

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Babeland Nubby G by Jezebelle

LELO Iris by Toygirl

LELO Gigi by Sleeping Dreamer

Womolina by Marla Singer

Emotional Bliss Womolia by Sexorcism

The Boss by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Emotional Bliss Isis by Sexorcism

Jolie by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Isis by Hussy Red

LELO Gigi by Epiphora

Evolved Waterproof French Kiss- True Love Edition by Beautiful Dreamer

Emotional Bliss Isis by Beautiful Dreamer

Fun Factory Laya Spot by Sexorcism

LELO Gigi by Hedonistic Bitch

Tuyo by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Dildos

Natural Contours Energie by Domina Doll

Anal Toys

Kama Diva Plug by Carnivalesq

Toys for Cocks

Colt 3 Snap Cock and Ball Strap by Sommer Marsden

LELO Bo by Hedonistic Bitch

Sex Kits

Sweet Celebrations Kit by Essin’ Em

Kama Sutra’s Treasure Trove Raspberry Kiss by Domina Doll

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

System Jo H2O by Adriana

Toko Aroma Lube - Strawberries and Champagne by Thursday’s Child

Moist Lubricant by Beautiful Dreamer

JimmyJane Afterglow Candle - Figleaf Scent by Sexorcism

Babelube by Jezebelle

Babeland Massage Candles by Essin’ Em

Hemp Edible Massage Oil by Ansley Agnello

BDSM/Fetish

Pink & Black Beaded Nipple Clamps by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Scalloped Cuffs by Panthera Pardus

Japanese Drip Candles by Luna Orignaux

Bark and Bite Paddle by Panthera Pardus

Nipple Clamps 101 by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Books

Best Sex Writing 2008 by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

First Dates (Scene Two) by The Porn Librarian

Crash Pad Series - Episode 1 Dylan & Trucker by J.D. Bauchery

KissMe Girl - Tiffany and Denise by The Porn Librarian

Crash Pad Series by Carnivalesq

Storage

Just in Case - YouthAIDs Red by Alpine Subdreams

Miscellaneous

Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel for Women - Warm by Beautiful Dreamer

Doggy Style Strap by Carnivalesq

Liberator Fascinator Throe by Thursday’s Child

Sensua Double Pearl Black Thong by Vixen

Pink Pubic Hair? Not so much. - Smart Beauty bikini color by Betty Rocket

NY Times Article: What Do Women Want?

2009-02-02T12:11:00.001-07:00

This is a very long article, but well worth reading. I recommend it for men and women. You can find the article here. The article covers a lot of ground, and presents several very different points of view on arousal in women.

It starts out with a very interesting study that included men and women and tested their physical arousal vs. mental arousal. They used instruments to detect the reactions in their genitals and also had them report how whether or not they felt aroused, while viewing various images. The most interesting result, to me, was that the men’s physical and mental arousal were typically in synch, while the women’s minds and bodies had conflicting reactions.

Another study discussed in the article used and fMRI scanner to chart brain activity during orgasm. The subjects got themselves off in a variety of ways including purely by thought without touching themselves at all. This is definitely my favorite quote from the article (and probably in the top ten of my favorite quotes ever), “they proved that some rare women can think themselves to climax.” I guess that makes me “rare”.

The connection between intimacy and desire is discussed, presenting both the point of view that intimacy is a driving force in desire for women and that it is not. Examples of women who have primarily engaged in heterosexual relationships, but have also had serious relationships with women, were used to support the intimacy theory in a very persuasive way.

On the other hand, this quote really hit home:

“A symbolic scene ran through Meana’s talk of female lust: a woman pinned against an alley wall, being ravished. Here, in Meana’s vision, was an emblem of female heat. The ravisher is so overcome by a craving focused on this particular woman that he cannot contain himself; he transgresses societal codes in order to seize her, and she, feeling herself to be the unique object of his desire, is electrified by her own reactive charge and surrenders.”

In the article, Meana talks about being desired as a big drive of desire for women. I think her statements very clearly and simply explain why rape fantasies are so effective for women who in no way have a desire for rape in real life. What she says falls well within the realm of my own thoughts on the subject, which I will expand on in a later post.

Sugasm #157

2009-02-01T14:13:00.004-07:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #158? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
A 2009 Wish For Smut Writers“Sex bloggers are on the cusp of what I see as being a new kind of sexual revolution.”

Q&A with Domina Doll“I enjoy teaching others how to explore that aspect of themselves.”

Overtaken“He kissed the side of my neck, sweeping my long hair out of the way, working his mouth across the side of my neck to press little bites along my collarbone.”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: When The Truth Hurts

Editor’s Choice
Dictation with Davis

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Pleasurists #13

2009-01-31T12:04:00.001-07:00

Image by Eric Traore

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #12? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #14? Submit it here before Sunday February 1st at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Swag Contest: Isis! Deadline: Wednesday January 28th at 11:59pm.

4th Blog-iversary Trivia Contest Deadline: January 31st at 11:59pm.

Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Maui Silicone Anal Beads by Kyle

The words “anal beads” cause my internal 14 year old boy to giggle nervously and worry about the potential tenting in his jeans. My slightly more mature self smiles appreciatively with no less potential for tenting. I’m a fan of buttsex…

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Petite Pink Ribbon by Adriana

My Secret Vibe by Jezebelle

Rabbit Pearl & Decadent Indulgence by The Hot Movies For Her Sex Toy Crew

Orchid G by Marla Singer

Cry Baby by Holden

Tuyo by Erin Leone

Tuyo by Nadia West

Bug-A-BuzzZZZZ - Best Buy Butterfly by Sienna

Drown It - Deep Sea Pleasure by Sienna

7 Function Remote Egg by Luna Orignaux

Rock Chick by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Emotional Bliss Isis by Sexorcism

The Liberte by Shay

The Hitachi Magic Wand: Necessity or Nepotism? by Backseat Boohoo

iVibe Pocket Rocket (and iLube) by The Hot Movies For Her Sex Toy Crew

Elise by Ansley Agnello

Mia by Essin’ Em

Mia by Wilhelmina Wang

Fun Factory G-Twist by Epiphora

LELO Iris by Betty Rocket

LELO Mia by Ellie Lumpesse

Tuyo Vibromasseur by Betty Rocket

Ophoria Bliss No. 7 by Bad Bad Girl

Inner Desire Love Egg by Dangerous Lilly

Orchid G by Roxy of Uncommon Curiosity

Dildos

Mr. Blue Vein by Sommer Marsden

Cherries Jubiliee by Marla Singer

Tantus Alumina Revolve & Motion by Epiphora

Scribble swirl G-spot wonder by Syntax

The Curve by Wendy Blackheart

Cherries Jubilee Glass Dildo by Domina Doll

Tantus G-force Wand by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Silky by Bad Bad Girl

Anal Toys

Peridise by Ansley Agnello

Deck the Halls Butt Plug by Epiphora

Emerald Jeweled Butt Plug by Betty Rocket

Toys for Cocks

Robo Suck II by Nadia West

LELO Bo by Epiphora

Oh Man Cock Ring by Bad Bad Girl

Sex Kits

Raspberry Kiss Kit by Essin’ Em

Raspberry Kiss Kit by Catalina Loves

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Yes! Water-based Organic Lubricant and Moisturizer by Sexorcism

Good Clean Love Lubricant by Domina Doll

Sun Kissed Vanilla Massage Candle by Adriana

Afterglow Candle by Betty Rocket

Durex Quiver Freezable Lubricant by Adriana

ID Glide Airless Pump by Marla Singer

O’My Blueberry Cheesecake Flavored Lube by Betty Rocket

Shunga Chocolate Aphrodisiac Oil by Dangerous Lilly

Babeland Massage Candles by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

BDSM/Fetish

The Hand Crop by Sommer Marsden

Singapore Stinger II by Thursday’s Child

Crocodile Tears for Crocodile Clamps by Thursday’s Child

Black Large Rubber Whip by Kyle

Think Pink - Pink Kink Kit Review by Thursday’s Child

1/4×20in Red Acrylic Cane by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Sting Like a Bee - The Cobra Stinger II by Thursday’s Child

Pleasure Feather Black by Beautiful Dreamer

Bondage Tape by Rori of Between My Sheets

Crocodile Clamps by Alpine Subdreams

Cupping Set by Alpine Subdreams

Wartenberg Wheel by Panthera Pardus

Adult Books/Games

“Enchanted again”, A book of erotic fairy tales, turned modern by Jezebelle

Little Book of Sex by Carnivalesq

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes by Essin’ Em

Bondage For Sex by Dangerous Lilly

Best Women’s Erotica 2008 by Alpine Subdreams

Adult Movies/Porn

Lesbian Life - Real Sex San Francisco by The Porn Librarian

Lesbian Love - Real Sex San Francisco (Scene 2) by J.D. Bauchery

Fetish Diaries by The Porn Librarian

Lesbian Love Vol. 2 by J.D. Bauchery

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Threesomes - 2 Girls & a Guy by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

32 Ways to Please Your Lover by J.D. Bauchery

Taija - The Horny Secretary by The Porn Librarian

Champion by Essin’ Em

1981’s “Bad Girls” has everyone wanting to get lost in the woods by Sacha Kinksky

Nadia Nyce Indian Sex Goddess by Sacha Kinksky

Pink & White’s Champion by Sinclair Sexsmith

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Toy Storage

The Sugar Sack by Wendy Blackheart

For Your Nymphomation Sex Toy Box by Toygirl

Devine Satchel by Carnivalesq

Lockable Sex Toy Case by Adriana

Devine Toy Box in Wine with Lace Overlay by Adriana

For Your Nymphomation Big Foot by Ang

Miscellaneous

LELO Luna Beads by Sexorcism

Hot Heart Massager by Domina Doll

Mrs. Meyer’s Peppermint Holiday Clean-up Kit and Hand Care Kit by Sexorcism

Smart Balls vs. Luna Beads: Let’s get ready to ruuumblllllle! by Toygirl

Pretty Boi Double-Strap Harness by Ansley Agnello

Make Me Cum Clit Sensitizer by Adriana

Gee Whiz… the Hitachi Upgrade by Sinclair Sexsmith

Make Me Blush Harness (Part 1) by Panthera Pardus

Review: Japanese Drip Candles

2009-01-30T12:52:00.004-07:00

I have been intrigued by the idea of wax play since long before I lost my virginity, but hadn’t tried it until now. I have played with candle wax since I was a kid, but never in this capacity.

If you research the subject, you will find endless information on what types of candles to use, which ones produce what temperatures, techniques, safety guidelines, what to wear and not wear when doing it, how to produce different physical and visual effects, and how to clean up. For me, it was an overwhelming amount of information and I got all wrapped up in trying to choose the right candles. Trying to weed through it and make a decision caused me to put it off for over a year after I got serious about trying it.

Then one day when I was picking out sex toys I came across a set of three Japanese Drip Candles, and decided it was time to take the plunge. It turns out that these are not right for me, as far as wax play goes, but it did give me a better idea of what to look for and as mood-setting candles go they’re great. What I need is something with a cooler wax that will pool more. Now I know.

I think these candles would work great for people looking for an inexpensive addition to their BDSM toy box, as long as you can take the heat.

On the up-side for me, these are nice looking candles with a mild, pleasant fragrance that hasn’t set off my allergies. They will get used up creating atmosphere, which is something I try to do as often as possible. State of mind can be everything, and when you can’t go all out on decorating, it’s amazing how the simple switch to some creative candlelight can transform the room and your mood.

Larry Flynt is My Hero

2009-01-25T19:21:00.001-07:00

If you know me, you’ve heard me say it before. If you keep reading my blog you will probably hear me say it again. So why now?

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/01/07/porn-industry-seeks-federal-bailout/

He is asking for $5 billion of the bailout money. The request is made, for the most part, to prove a point. And that’s what I love about Larry. He has proven on many occasions that he will lay it all on the line to prove a point, but not in the sense that some people can’t give up a useless argument. Larry’s point is always something that, in the end (no pun intended) benefits us all.

Whether I agree or disagree with the finer points of his politics or anything else is truly irrelevant. He is a shining light in the battle for freedom of speech and just plain freedom of being, in a world that would have you believe such things are of little meaning compared to other issues. Yet, these are the core issues. Until more people step up to that challenge, all else is lost. Larry is one of the few who, after achieving enough monetary wealth and power to speak out, has continued to pursue the interest.

I’ll stop there for tonight, but expect to hear more from me on this soon.

Review: Lacey's Graduated Orgasm Balls

2009-01-21T22:01:00.006-07:00

The first thing I must say about this toy is that I like it! This was the first time I tried anal beads of any sort. I have tried other anal toys, butt plugs and such, and just didn’t get the pleasure from them that I did from this item. I will have to try more sex toys of this nature!

So, what sets it apart? Why do I like this better than the things I have tried in the past? To start, there is the graduated size. Now, in all fairness the other anal toys I have tried had that feature, but they were one-piece toys, starting off small and getting larger. With this, as the name Lacey’s Graduated Orgasm Balls implies, they are separate balls on one string. Three balls, each larger than the next.

Instead of just progressively stretching, you get past the widest part and have the opportunity to relax and close back down before moving on to the next, larger size. I didn’t know for sure, but as I had suspected, this worked very well for me. There was no discomfort and no feeling of trying to push the whole thing out involuntarily. Once it was in it wasn’t going to slide back out on its own, either, and that made for a much more relaxed and prolonged experience.

To get to the point, if you enjoy anal play but find things lingering in the opening uncomfortable, go with the beads.

Aside from function, I like the fact that it’s not pick or some other gaudy color. That’s always a plus.

If you are looking for a hulking ass-tearing toy, this one is probably not for you. If you are looking for some gentle, controllable anal play that can go from mild to moderate, and will actually stay in your ass while you engage in other activities, this one is perfect!

Sugasm #156

2009-01-19T14:52:00.002-07:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #157? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Mouth Music
“Can you feel the heat of my lips taunting you yet?”

4 a.m.
“My mouth craves skin and I dip my head to her shoulder.”

Wanting
“I want my whisper in your ear to make you shiver”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: Being Too Honest

Editor’s Choice
To Richard, A Dedication. Confession #205

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Review: 7 Function Remote Egg

2009-01-14T11:57:00.004-07:00

I should start out by saying that my experience with vibrating sex toys has been mixed, leaning toward poor. Mostly poor, but since I like the idea and have had a good experience or two with them in the past, I wanted to try again. So I chose the seven function, waterproof, remote egg.

It has its pros and cons, but overall I like it and I will continue to use it.

Normally vibrating toys are over-stimulating and uncomfortable to me. One reason an egg sounded appealing was that it would be completely on the inside. I must be unusually sensitive because when I hear other women raving about using high powered vibrators on their clits it makes me cringe. Sometimes I can’t tolerate having my clit touched at all, but deep inside is very, very good.

This is the second egg I have tried. The first one was very cheap, which made sense at the time. I didn’t know if I would like using an egg so why invest a lot of money in one. That was a mistake. The first egg that I tried was awful. It was painful. I think it has a short or something, because I am pretty sure it was shocking me. It was not a remote egg and I found the cord very irritating. Overall, I hated it!

So, back to this new egg. The seven function egg is pretty pricey as eggs go, but worth it. The difference in quality was dramatic. The texture is nice; kind of silky. It produced no unpleasant sensations. I didn’t feel like I was being electrocuted. So that was all a good start. It is fairly small, and that works out well for me, too.

The first time I tried it was New Year’s Eve. Since I’m normally so sensitive, I was surprised to find that I could barely feel it. I tried all the settings anyway, just to check it out, and discovered that one setting felt like bubbles rising up in my belly, much like having your stomach growl when you are very, very hungry. That was amusing, but I had obviously had too much wine to really appreciate the egg so decided to try again another time.

The second try, wasn’t the right night for it either, for other reasons. The third time I tried it I loved it! I decided to try it as a bit of a warm up before heading to the bedroom. It felt very nice, stimulating, but not irritating. The size was comfortable. My body was starting to relax. It was really great. And then the batteries died!

The batteries dying was my own fault, but also my one complaint about the egg. It comes with two sets of batteries and the instructions clearly state that you must remove them when it is not in use. I failed to do that, and I can tell you that it is absolutely necessary. It doesn’t use the regular batteries you would have around the house. It uses two different kinds – a little one for the remote and six that look like watch batteries for the egg itself. My problem with having to remove the batteries when I’m not using it is that inserting them is a bit tedious and wipes out any spontaneity. So, I suggest always keeping some spares on hand.

Nominate Your Favorite Sex Toy Reviewer

2009-01-09T17:23:00.003-07:00

I wanted to pass this along.

Note: I do not qualify for nominations because I did not start my reviews until 2009.

Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek are teaming up to put together the (first annual?) Best Sex Toy Reviewers List for 2008 which will be featured on Pleasurists!

We know a lot of reviewers, but we don’t know all of you out there, so that’s where you come in! We have many reviewers in mind already, but we are also looking for nominations from you all to give us a good idea of who you think is fit to be on the list of the best sex toy reviewers of 2008!

The nomination information:

You can’t nominate yourself, but feel free to (and please do!) re-post this on your blog, that way your readers may want to nominate you for the list.
If someone is already nominated you can nominate them as well. The nominations someone receives may factor in to the final listing, so nominate everyone, even if someone’s already mentioned them.
To qualify the person must have reviews up (well, obviously). Preferably multiple reviews not just one or two.
You can nominate as many reviewers as you’d like, but please keep in mind this is a list of the best of the best. So, try to give me the absolute best five or ten reviewers rather than a huge long list.
Nominations are open until January 25th at 11:59pm PST and the list of reviewers will be posted January 31st.

Nominate your choices by visiting the Pleasurists and add your comments to the post! Or, if you would prefer your nominations to be private feel free to send an email to scarletsexgeek at gmail dot com.

Poll! Sex and Deadlines

2009-01-06T20:35:00.002-07:00

In case you didn’t see it, I have posted a poll at the upper right-hand corner.

I have noticed that I have different reactions to work deadlines and sex.

Sometimes when I’m down to the wire and know I have a long night of writing ahead of me, all I can think of is how much easier the work will flow after a good, quick fuck. Other times, I am so focused on getting the work done that there is no way I can think about sex.

When I finish a project, if I’ve really been pushing I can be too amped and too stressed to get in the mood, but then there are those days when I am so relieved to be finished that there seems like no better way to release all that energy than to jump right into bed (or onto the couch, or the kitchen cabinet).

And then there are those times when I really have a lot to do, but I can’t do it all in one stretch, so…

I’m curious to know how deadlines affect your libido! This poll allows for multiple answers, and if none of the answers fit you, feel free to reply in the comments.

The Joys of Coconut Oil

2009-01-04T19:44:00.003-07:00

If you are looking for an all-natural lubricant, I highly recommend trying coconut oil.

Coconut oil is one of the most amazing things on the planet. It has many health benefits when you cook with it, and it can work miracles on your skin and hair. Some of the many things I use it for include:

Massage oil
Lubricant
Moisturizer
Makeup remover
Lip balm
Hair conditioner

One reason coconut oil is so great for me is that I have a reaction to most scented products. Makeup removers make my eyes swell up, and most moisturizers give me a stuffy nose and sore throat. Coconut oil smells lightly of coconuts, but it’s not strong and the smell doesn’t linger. Most importantly, I have no reaction to it.

Years ago I tried some “edible” body paints, much to my regret. I have tried lubricants that feel OK at first, but turn sticky and wind up having the opposite of the desired effect. As a massage oil, coconut oil it is not greasy or sticky. As a lubricant it has a wonderful texture. Unlike some products that are advertised as edible, it is truly safe to eat and does not conflict with oral activities. Since it’s so good for your skin and hair there is no reason to worry about where the coconut oil winds up or having to wash it off later.

As a moisturizer, coconut oil can help reverse sun damage, even reducing seemingly permanent redness. Wrinkles seem to melt away with repeated use, and it helps keep your skin plumped so it doesn’t sag. It works well on eczema and dandruff, too.

Coconut oil is amazing stuff and it makes your skin very happy. If you decide to try it, make sure to get organic, virgin coconut oil. While it is a little pricey for a cooking oil, it is much cheaper than most skin care products and lubes, so the price balances out.

Celebrating New Year’s With New Toys

2009-01-01T17:04:00.001-07:00

What could be better than starting out the New Year with good food, great company, and trying out some new sex toys?

We had several to choose from, and gave them all a try, but made the most use of the Super Strap Super Sheet. It is advertised as a king sized, red, vinyl sheet. When I opened the box I was not disappointed. It was a bright, shiny red. I would have liked a deeper red or maybe black, but the color posed no problem with its functionality.

I’m sure that you can think of plenty of uses for a vinyl sheet. Our plan when ordering it was to protect the bed during wax play. We decided to hold off on that for another day. We normally fleece sheets in the winter. They are warm and soft and very inviting, but when combined with oiling up, the lint can really stick to you. This sheet not only solved that problem, but kept our regular bedding from getting greasy. It made for lots of slippery fun, but the sheet itself is not so slick as to prevent you from getting the needed traction. We had a good fire going, so the sheet itself was not too cold. It might not be the best choice in a chilly house.

We use coconut oil for lubing up. It liquefies at 76 degrees, making it easy to pour all over your body. Plus, it’s good for your skin and has a mild, pleasant coconut scent, but the smell is not overpowering. It is used for cooking, so there is no problem combining the oil and oral sex. We have been using coconut oil for a long time with great results. The Super Sheet added a wonderful new dimension to using our favorite lube/massage oil.

The Super Sheet is listed in the Bondage/BDSM category, and it certainly has many uses in that capacity, but the potential is not limited to BDSM activities.

One concern that I had was whether it would be too delicate. This is definitely not a problem. Others have recommended using a shower curtain for the same purposes, but the Super Sheet is much sturdier while still affordable.

If you are looking for some slippery fun or just want to protect your sheets from the wet spot, I highly recommend the Super Strap Super Sheet from SexToy.com.

Sex Chip

2008-12-29T17:02:00.000-07:00

I have never liked the idea of having any kind of chip implanted anywhere in my body. I don’t even like the strips they put in dollar bills. The idea of walking around transmitting radio signals has always seems like way too much invasion of my privacy. The idea of having a chip in my brain that can receive signals is even creepier.

Even so, this new chip does sound interesting. I don’t see myself signing up for it, but for people who are unable to experience pleasure it might be worth the trade off. The chip was originally created to help people with Parkinson’s disease. Now it’s being tried on a part of the brain called the orbitofrontal cortex to treat adhedonia. Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure, normally including pleasure from sex.

You can read more about the chip here.

According to neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, "There is evidence that this chip will work. A few years ago a scientist implanted such a device into the brain of a woman with a low sex drive and turned her into a very sexually active woman. She didn't like the sudden change, so the wiring in her head was removed."

Winter Solstice

2008-12-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

We have just passed the Winter Solstice meaning that winter is technically upon us. In my neck of the woods, winter has been here for a while, and I am thankful for that every day!

Winter Solstice is the day of the year when the balance tips; from here on out the days will be getting longer and the nights will be getting shorter. Personally, I like the long nights, but all is not lost. I can still look forward to many months of cool weather and the coldest days of the season are still ahead.

There is something that I like about every season, but winter is one I absolutely must have, and I think it could not last long enough. I have lived in the mountains for about 16 years now, and I chose to live in the mountains for many reasons, the weather being the biggest one of all.

I love the cold and the snow. I love having a fire and wearing warm, comfy sweaters. And boots! I love wearing boots. I particularly like all the sexy things you can hide under winter clothing. I like knowing that I am wearing that stuff and I love that I can choose to wear warm stuff on top that either hides it all for a big surprise or reveals those bits to entice.

The smells of winter are the best. Wood smoke and the smell of fresh snow. The air is crisp and bracing and everything just feels and smells so good!

Of course, I can’t leave out the men. Winter and men mix in all the right ways. There is nothing sexier than a man chopping wood. The smell of fresh cut wood and chainsaw exhaust still just floors me. Even without the exertion, seeing a man in a flannel shirt or a cozy sweater just turns my crank. Hell, I even like to see a man in a union suit, bright red with the butt flap and everything.

On those really cold days you can always crawl right inside of his coat, which makes for a nice make-out session, no matter where you are. If you’re really lucky it’s a leather coat that smells good, too.

Then there are the walks. I have no desire to go for a walk in the summer heat, but a walk in the snow can lead to so many places. There is nothing like a nice midnight walk in two feet of snow, coming back to a warm house and ripping each other’s clothes off. But then, why wait until you get home? Long coats make a nice blanket for a quick romp in the snow, too.

Finding Your Turn Ons in the Most Unlikely Places

2008-12-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

I like reading about sex, new ideas, things to try, even the mechanics and chemistry of sex and arousal. I find it all very interesting and fascinating, and sometimes very useful.

I have also discovered that it can be very frustrating. Sometimes when I come across columns about “what women really want in bed” and I just want to scream “No! No! No!” and I hope and pray that I never wind up in bed with a man who has read and believed this stuff. I have come across the same pieces of advice so often, things that are supposed to be what really does it for women, that I have found myself wondering if there is something wrong with me, especially when I hear real women confirming this information.

What have I learned from this? As much as I like to read about this stuff, sometimes I have to get some distance. I think all that reading is good, and there are definitely some real gems buried in most of the things I have read, but nothing beats quieting all of that thought and just paying attention to yourself.

I mean really throw it all out. Don’t even let yourself think of things in terms of sexual or non-sexual. Just notice how you respond to anything and everything. This is during sex and just during your everyday life.

It is far too easy to try and categorize the sexual and non-sexual aspects of life. As if, we need a barrier to prevent us from getting turned on at the wrong moments, or something to keep all those sexual feelings in their place so that sex is one thing and everything else is definitely not related to sex. So you can say, “that is definitely not sexual, so it’s safe and appropriate for any situation.”

It’s just not true. Anything could be turning anyone on around you at any moment. A fellow grocery shopper may be turned on by the stiff print on her t-shirt rubbing against her nipples. The guy at the table next to you might be turned on by getting his fingers greasy while he eats fried chicken. Know it. Be open to it. Do not be afraid of it.

You could be watching a movie or driving down the road and suddenly find yourself getting turned on by the most unlikely thing. Go with it! It could be anything – a certain part of a song that comes on the radio, a color combination that you notice, or a smell.

In bed, you may find that the thing that really feels good wasn’t even supposed to happen – a clumsy slip of the hand that happened to brush you somewhere it wasn’t meant to, but really got your juices flowing. Go back to that, try it some more, even if it doesn’t seem like something that should be a turn on.

Maybe it is a position that you were just passing through to get where you were really going. Pause there! See if it works.

The point is – pay attention! Notice your reactions, even when they seem out of place. Don’t pass judgment, just follow that feeling. Sure, there is a chance that your partner will find it weird or get freaked out by it, but if it leads to hotter sex, chances are he or she will get over it.

So, don’t stop reading, but don’t freak out when the stuff you read doesn’t do anything for you, and don’t freak out when that really does it for you doesn’t make any sense.

Going Undercover to Bust Swingers in Connecticut – Why?

2008-12-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

You can read the story at The Hartford Currant. They just keep arresting more people for this. So, here’s the story.

There was a swinger’s party at a hotel in early November. Police officers went undercover to try and bust these people having sex in public. According to the police the swingers were having sex in the bar, while it was open to the public, and lobby of the hotel. According to the party goers it was a private party and any sex involved happened in hotel rooms not the bar and the lobby.

My first question is – Why would you need to go undercover to bust people having sex in public? None of the news stories I have read raise that question, but it seems like the most obvious one to me.

One of the attorneys said, “The police officers that attended had to go through at least four, possibly five steps to attend.” That is a lot of work to gain access to a supposedly public view of people having sex.

My second question is – How do they justify using tax dollars for this kind of operation? Even if they were having sex in a situation that could be technically classified as public, does anyone really care? Does anyone really care about “public” sex that is that hard to gain access to?

They arrested the owner and manager of the hotel, the permit holder of the bar. That part kind of made sense at first, knowing that in some places it is illegal to mix visible genitals with the sale of alcohol. That doesn’t explain the charges, though. They were charged with being accessories to obscenity and public indecency.

Overall, none of it really makes sense. Why are they dragging this out for so long and continuing to arrest people? Why go to trouble of conducting an undercover operation involving police and liquor control agents for something like this? It sounds like someone’s personal crusade or vendetta to me.

Bettie Page Will Live Forever

2008-12-12T16:45:00.000-07:00

I thought about titling this “Bettie Page, We Will Miss You”, but it just didn’t feel right. It’s not that it’s not the truth, but it’s certainly not the whole truth. The Bettie Page that most of us know was frozen in time over 50 years ago and will be with us forever. It seems that is exactly how she wanted it.

The Bettie Page of the 50’s stays fresh and new. The old pictures are still in high demand and circulation, but she is also featured in new art and fiction. Unlike many past beauties and serious role models, Bettie never becomes dated. She continues to inspire younger generations. Her message has timeless meaning, probably because it wasn’t meant to be a message at all. She just WAS in a time when being was completely unacceptable.

I’m sure all Bettie fans have their own reasons for loving her. I like her for many of the obvious reasons; her beauty, the outfits, the “deviant” nature of her work, the comedy, the irony, and of course her timeless sexiness.

I love her because I can relate. She did what she did and it was just the most natural thing for her to do at the time. She wasn’t trying to prove a point or make a statement. She was making a living and having fun at the same time. She had no political agenda and wasn’t doing anything dirty in her eyes, but she was blindsided and treated like a criminal for it. I can relate because I don’t know how many times I have been going about my own business, having fun and just being me, and been accused of something far more sinister, planned and thought out.

There is a beauty that shows through in the fun she has and the lack of agenda. That in itself sends a message and it’s the one that lifts me up when I hear people saying that if a woman is sexy she is trying to screw with people’s heads.

I’m not slamming women who are activists and trying to make a statement, or women who knowingly take risks and put themselves on the line. I do think that Bettie’s way of just being herself has an impact and meaning that can’t be duplicated on purpose, and it speaks to a different part of the soul – the part that rejoices in self expression no matter what form that takes.

For me, Bettie Page will live forever. Everything that I have gained and stand to gain in the future from her existence still exists and will continue to grow. The only thing that I regret is having failed to write to her and let her know how much I appreciate her. All is not lost, though. That realization has moved me to act now and write to those people who I do appreciate and let them know.

Writing From a Single Image

2008-08-19T16:43:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I am inspired to write I am compelled by a single image in my mind. Usually something I have imagined rather than something I have seen. Something that seems to hold a story all its own. A story I want to know; to spend time in. Often, getting that image down on paper and building the rest of the story around it is how I work. I have intuitive feelings about the story just from what I see in that image. Sometimes details, sometimes the knowledge is more vague.

The image may be a setting with no visible people. Occasionally, it will be an action – one single frame of a scene. Often it is more of an inner look at one character. That one image in my mind seems to sum up the essence of the character. Other times, I know it is a misleading image and that’s what makes it interesting.

Pursuing that path. Following the story outward in all directions from that single prescriptive image becomes a rich adventure of discovery.

What is Sexy?

2008-04-27T16:37:00.000-06:00

God! It is so subjective! To me it is the look in someone’s eye or the smell of cooking meat. It can be intention, like when a basically bad person acts out of sincere kindness. Or when an act, no matter how easy or difficult, is performed purely to balm another’s soul. Sheer abandon – watching someone so engrossed in their own moment that they see nothing outside of the pure enjoyment of what they are doing, completely oblivious to observers. Or the opposite, someone completely sucking up the attention they know they’re getting, and loving it in a way that is not self-conscious at all.

Nudity? No. It can be sexy, but it can be merely functional. And it can be very awkward. It is not in and of itself sexy. Hell, sex itself is often very far from sexy, when you are an observer. And yet, an interchange between two people all bundled up for winter cold can be very sexy and watching it can make you feel like a voyeur of a most intimate act.

Eating can be sexy, or just downright gross.

Certain manners of dress? They mean nothing. A tank top can be revealing in a sexy way or it might just highlight something you didn’t want to see like dried up deodorant or stretch marks. The same outfit that is sexy on one person, may just reveal the clunkiness and lack of grace in another. Like me in high heels. Standing still, sure that’s sexy. Walking? A fucking train wreck! And then some may find the vulnerability of that kind of train wreck to be sexy in itself.

Sexy is subjective. It is all about what hits that note for each of us individually. When we can see that, accept it, we have a chance to expand. To find the sexiness in things that are meaningful on a personal level, not just look for ways to be accepted as sexy. And when we reach that, we reach everyone. That’s when we just turn on everyone, like it or not. And that can be good or bad, but either way it is powerful.