Long Summer (part 1)

This summer seemed long. We got off easy on the heat. Still too hot for me, but not miserably so. It was definitely a summer of change. That is one reason for my long silence. Long-term relationship came to an abrupt end in mid-August. From there my life has really opened up. I knew I was unhappy, but I was shocked at how much life improved and how quickly. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my heart and my life.

For the first few weeks I was sort of giddy and in awe of all the little things that were just happy and easy. I had no idea how much I had shut down and how restricted my life had become. I was weighing every little thing I did. Then suddenly at every turn I could just do whatever with no worries. I started seeing friends again. Laughing and having fun without having to worry about the fight it would cause. Coming and going as I pleased. Not having to think about what I was wearing (or not wearing) around the house and when I went out. Finally, I could relax.

Now, well, OK I’m still giddy. It just keeps getting better.

Being single in a very small town with no way to get out of town and meet people if I wanted to, that can a little frightening. But I believe in silly things like fate. Besides the fact that I would have gone insane a long time ago if I didn’t, my life experience backs it up. So, I just had to have faith that something remarkable would happen and I would meet someone really incredible that I had never met before, here in this very small place where everyone has met everyone.

I had faith, but some part of me knew that the odds were stacked against me, so when it happened it caught me by surprise. I knew it had to happen because I willed it to be so and that’s how life works, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen that night, that soon. Now I’m living it every day and it still sneaks up on me sometimes...